Road trips can be great ways to bond with your friends. Time and time again, a road trip is a major part of a movie or a novel plot because it’s a place where people can share deep conversations, have crazy adventures and find some deeper meaning in their friendships.
That’s all nice and cozy if you’ve chosen the right people with whom the share the car. While you can’t always control some of the problems, (and I’m looking at you, lumbar pillow girl,) you can totally make an informed decision to ride in a different car.
- The Old Lady Driver: Oh. My. Word. There’s nothing worse than riding in a car with a person who’s unsure of his or her driving skills. The herky-jerky, driving too far right and being the one in the backseat getting the finger all day from the cars in the passing lane are enough to make you re-think giving said buddy road trip status. They’re almost as bad as…
- The Speedster: We get it. You’re cool. However, you’re too old to drive like a 17-year-old boy. (Unless of course you happen to BE a 17-year-old boy. In that case you’re too young to be going on a road trip with your friends. Now get yourself home right now, young man.) No one feels comfortable with their feet bracing into the floor and their arms gripping the door for dear life.
- The person who doesn’t have a GPS app, a sense of direction or the ability to read a map. You can come, I suppose, but you’re not sitting in the front because you can’t navigate and you’re sure as hell not driving. Just sit there. And don’t be mad when everyone tells you to shut up.
- The Old Lady passenger: Not to be confused with the Old Lady Driver, the Old Lady Passenger is worse. This person will complain if he or she has to sit in the middle because it hurts their spine. They don’t want to eat fast food because it doesn’t agree with them. They need to stop every 45 minutes because of gastro-intestinal distress. They want to stop off and see an “interesting little shop.” They may or may not have a guidebook. Proceed carefully. There’s no coming back from this if you leave one of your dearest friends on the side of the road.
- The Recently Dumped: Some people are actually fun on a road trip at this juncture. They’re a little reckless, (so don’t let them drive) and they’re more likely to do something hilarious, just hopefully not illegal. Others, not so much. Unless you’re able to get them to sleep, they will bring the whole trip down. Just sayin’. They’ll either monopolize the entire conversation with plans of attack to win back said dumper…or, they’ll get sloppy drunk at some bar-b-que dive that you didn’t even realize had a liquor license. No one wants to sit next to that. Either way, it could make for a bumpy ride.
- A “Frenemy”: Now is not the time to have to keep your guard up. You’ll have your shoes off and you’ll be looking to just relax. You need people that you truly enjoy spending time with. Doesn’t matter if your co-worker’s sister friend has a house in Aspen. (Well, maybe then…) They’ll just be snotty and bitchy and snide. I’m not blowing off a day at work for that.