Hey you,
Yeah, you, with the coiled forest growing in his pants. I never thought I would have to write this letter, but here we are, talking about your downstairs misfortune.
I’d like to inform you that this is not the 1970s and pubic hair is no longer chic. Maybe you’re an old soul and the pube life has always been your thing, or maybe you’re just lazy, but I cannot condone this amount of hair growth.
I would like to ask that you be more mindful that you’re not the only person “using” your junk. As long as we are going to be sexually involved, I shouldn’t need a lawn mower to get to your d*ck.
The last thing I want is to be face-to-face with Lenny Kravitz’ afro while I’m trying to pleasure you.
I understand that the bald look may feel emasculating and I’m not asking you to take it that far. However, a little bit of TLC below the belt would help.
Your current lack of concern for grooming is also a direct reflection of how unkempt the rest of your life might be. And I’m probably not the first person to consider this.
If you’d like to show your creative side and try for a landing strip, racing stripes, or the classic “V,” I can stand by you on that. But this plethora of hair that I’m forced to endure head-on is some bullsh*t and it needs to be tamed.
That said, it’s time for you to join the pube-upkeep revolution. All you will need is a razor (Hopefully).
Know that your efforts will be greatly appreciated! And possibly even rewarded. *wink*
Sincerely,
Women Who Hate Pubes
