Having a smaller-than-average rack is often liberating on its own when it comes to wardrobe choices, but there’s one time of year that calls for true boob equality. It’s Sweatshirt Season, and it’s the perfect time for all chicks to go braless.
Do you hear that wind outside? It’s the collective sigh of relief from women on college campuses all across the country.
Even those lucky ones in SoCal, with their 70-degree sunshine and glove-less hands, are met with chilly weather through much of their second semesters. But the chance to wear a sweatshirt softens the blow of an unpleasant breeze every time.
I’m writing this in a sweatshirt and a pair of leggings.
That’s right – I wear leggings as pants, though I’m alone in my apartment so having bottoms on at all is a stand-alone feat. I am, though, missing an important component of clothing and my chest is lovin’ it like a hungover sorority sister loves a large order of greasy fries.
Wearing a sweatshirt sans undergarments in the comfort of your dorm room is a small luxury, but it goes without saying that wearing that same braless outfit in public (during class, while shopping, or to your hair appointment) is an entirely different beast.
If you’ve never braved the cold winter weather in a sweatshirt without your supportive underwire, you’re missing a glorious part of your young life.
After all, going around town looking like a comfort-driven, overworked student won’t fly when you’re 40 and supposedly have your life pulled together. Plus, the benefits of your chesty freedom are endless.
For example, the thick fabric of your sweatshirt masks high beams. Hey, there’s no shame in feeling a little chilly in the cold winter weather, but that doesn’t mean that your fellow females are happy to see your nips beneath your t-shirt or that your male teachers aren’t going to uncomfortably avert eye contact with you when you sit near the classroom vents.
As if that wasn’t enough, the soft feel of fleece against your bare skin is really something to celebrate. Even the most comfortable bra camisoles and sports bras aren’t lined in cozy fleece.
Your sweatshirt might as well be coated in Xanax because you can actually feel relaxing vibes penetrating your boobs.
Then there’s the whole no-one-has-to-know thing. I mean, it’s like going commando for your top half. The sweet escape from convention is your little secret. Sure, you may decide to wink and tell that hottie in Biology-201 about your bouncy blessing, but that’s only because the rush of your rebelliousness is all too exciting.
I bet you thought we were done. We’re not! You can’t forget about the total sexiness of not having spandex lines etched into your body when you finally get home to undress. No need to spend the next 10 minutes itching your irritated skin when you skip the boob booster because you skin is still silky soft and, obviously, grateful.
If we haven’t convinced you to go to the store to buy a cute new sweatshirt, you’ll just have to take a leap of faith.
Sweatshirt Season is one of the best things that can happen to your perky pair this year and, should you take advantage of it, you will find yourself a new woman by springtime.
