Twenty year old college student Jess Jones, a waitress at D’Jais Bar & Grill in New Jersey, was surprised when her party of eight decided not to leave her a tip on a $112 bill. Instead, they left a note in the tip line of the credit card receipt that said “LOL – 1 hour for food.” Of course, it’s impossible for that type of slight to stay quiet for too long–not when the waitress in question has a smart phone and a Facebook account.
Unsurprisingly, the instance has gone viral, bringing with it the typical, howling chorus proclaiming the importance of tipping the wait staff, how little they make, how hard they work, how much they rely on their tips to survive, how people shouldn’t go out if they can’t afford to tip…nothing that we haven’t all heard before, just this time with a different villain.
In this case, the villain is decried as much for the insult as for not leaving a tip. If the “LOL” is to be interpreted as, “Ha! You waited on us, and now we’re stiffing you because we feel like it, so go fuck yourself!” then yeah, the customer deserves their fair share of scorn. My guess, however, is the the “LOL” was meant more as, “You’ve got to be kidding me, expecting a tip when we had to wait an hour for our food!” Even so, people will bemoan that a poor experience isn’t always the fault of the waiter or waitress. The possible delay in the kitchen (or some other situation) is outside of the wait staff’s control.
But does it matter? Our society had become so entitled that it’s now completely beyond comprehension that tipping is not a requirement and should never be expected. Yes, in our country most restaurant customers leave a tip, even if the service is poor.
But it’s not mandatory. Whatever is left should be appreciated, not expected. And if nothing is left, it’s not the “scorned” food service employee’s place to berate, attack, or publicly humiliate the customer. The customer is a customer of the restaurant – not a customer of the wait person. The waiter is a representative and employee of the restaurant. If a waiter or waitress verbally (or digitally) attacks a customer (even in Jess’ case, where she blurred out the customer’s personal info on the picture of the bill that she posted), they should be fired. If I were the owner of that restaurant, I wouldn’t want my customers to start thinking that they’ll be tip-shamed if they don’t leave anything.
Sadly, it’s come to a point where people expect others to pay their way. People getting married register for gifts in advance; if they invite you to their wedding, they’re not just inviting you to celebrate a happy day with them, they’re expecting you to bring a gift. And why allow that gift to be heartfelt and thoughtful when they can tell you in advance exactly which set of crystal crap they want? No real need to stay and dance – just leave the gift on the table and you can be on your way.
I recently went into a yogurt shop. It was one of the newer ones where I get my own cup, pull the levers to mix my own yogurt, add the toppings on myself, and finally put the cup onto the scale so the cashier can then tell me how much I owe them. Next to the scale, of course, is a tip jar. Tips? For what? I did all the work! Fortunately, a small sign next to the tip cup answered this for me: “Your tips are for us keeping this store a clean and safe environment for you to enjoy.” So, wait…I now have to tip people to keep the store that they work in clean? What is their salary for?
I know we all love to come down hard on companies and make villains of those who exercise their right not to leave a tip, regardless of how good the service is. I know it’s easy for the heavy-hearted to defend the long-suffering food service employees. And yes, they work hard. In my college and post-college days, I spent waited tables by night and built my company by day… but I always appreciated what I was left, and if I wasn’t left anything, so be it – that’s their choice. Call it an occupational hazard, if you want. Somewhere along the line, appreciation morphed into expectation. Even the most remote work ethic has become contingent on the customer ponying up over and above the stated price tag, with potentially damaging repercussions when they don’t.
Sadly, it may be too late to stop the tide of entitlement.