You may legally be an adult now, but that hasn’t stopped you from keeping all the best bits of being a kid. You still think sparklers are magic wands, you still drink milk through a crazy straw, and you still use your sippy cup – only now you put booze in it. People tell you to grow up, but you know better – being a Kidult is way better for you than being an adult:
1. You crawl up the stairs like a panther.
Whenever a trip upstairs is needed, you turn on beast mode and take on those stairs like you’re the King of the Jungle. Running around like your a majestic tiger is not only way more fun, but it also keeps the heart pumping – which apparently is good for you. So take that grown-ups!
2. ‘The floor is lava’ still happens on the reg.
Hopping from bed, to chair, to desk may not be the quickest way to fetch something from your drawers, but otherwise your feet would burn off – and more importantly you’d lose the game. Now that you don’t have your mum telling you off when you clamber over furniture, you can extend this game to the entire house.
3. Crayons are far too awesome to just be for children.
The same goes for glitter, finger paints, play-dough and stickers. Kids get the best art supplies, but you’re not going to let them have all the fun. Besides, those ankle biters can’t even colour between the lines. Art sparks your imagination and gets the creative juices flowing, and that skill is all kinds of useful.
4. Sleepy = Grouchy.
Sometimes, life gets to be just a little too much and you just want to curl up in a snuggly ball and make it all go away with a nap. You can fall into a cozy slumber anywhere: on a desk, on the bus, in the back of a car. You’ve even been known to get comfy and catch a few Z’s on a park bench. You know you need your power naps ‘cos otherwise you go from Little Miss Sunshine to Hulk Smash in a matter of minutes.
5. You do good; you get cookie.
You like to reward yourself for your wins. You file a tax return: have a muffin. You get straight A’s: have yourself a Frappa mochachino. You nail an interview: well, then, it’s time for shots. Not everything is a kid related reward.
6. You’re still waiting on your letter from Hogwarts.
At some point, a bedraggled looking bird is going to turn up in your fireplace, clutching a note and instructing you to head on down to Diagon Alley. The owl probably just got lost – or maybe Death Eaters attacked it; this is a mystery you and your Wizarding friends can unravel when that tardy son of a bitch finally gives you your acceptance letter. You can still attend Hogwarts at 22, right?!
7. Life is fixed with cereal and cartoons.
Nothing beats getting in your jim-jams, pouring a big ol’ bowl of Lucky Charms and getting down to some Spongebob action. You still use a little spoon, you still drink the milk from the bowl and you still love that adorable little sponge and his wacky hi-jinx. Just a couple of hours of Saturday morning me-time, and you’re ready to take the world on.
8. You hear the Ice cream van from three towns away.
The guy could be three miles away, but you have an inner radar looking out for all things popsicle related. Like a Pavlovian dog, as soon as you hear the jingle jangle of the Ice Cream van, you’re out on the corner with a sticky pair of dollars clutched in your mitts. Ice cream just doesn’t taste the same from the store.
9. Halloween is your Christmas.
Christmas is fun an’ all: presents, wrapping paper, awesome TV. But it can’t hold a candle to Halloween: free candy, you get to dress up as a ninja turtle… or a fairy… or a butterfly, and scary movies are the most fun. It’s the one day of the year the world will embrace your inner kid, which means your magic powers and pixie dust will work on everyone.
