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So You’d like to Be a Phonesex Operator? (A Helpful Quiz)

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So you want to become a professional phonesex operator? You think you’ve got what it takes to engage in scintillating conversation for money? And why not? Working from home is awesome. Plus, clients spend over $40,000,000 a year on phonesex. Yes, forty million dollars. I never made quite that much money, but I did spend a number of years as a professional phonesex gal.

Let’s see if you’re a good candidate for a job as an adult conversation specialist.

  1. Are you a chick? Overwhelmingly, phonesex work is performed by women—though not entirely. It’s like nudity on HBO, it’s 100% for the entertainment and sexual stimulation of men. So yes, men can be phonesex ops, and they’ll be talking to other men.

  2. How’s your voice? If you have a sweet, young sounding voice or a raspy or gravelly voice, you can no doubt find clients who like that. To make a career out of phonesex, and build up a client base capable of supporting you—you’ll need to be able to play a variety of ages and types. That might mean major vocal training.

  3. Feeling brave? Adult chat lines are for those who use phonesex to talk about stuff that’s too crazy or embarrassing to discuss with their significant other. That means you’ll have to be ready for anything. That might include bondage talk, forced cross-dressing, foot worship, water-sports, or something even more unusual than that. Note: most companies will let you say No to calls that make you genuinely uncomfortable, but doing that too often will result in fewer calls and less clients.

  4. Have a quiet place? Most phonesex ops work from home, which means they need a place devoid of children, loud pets, slamming doors, TV watching, or anything else that will interfere with the ambiance.

  5. Can you be stoic? When I was a phonesex gal, one of the most difficult things was not laughing out loud at some of the bizarre and absurd things clients would say. If you can watch this without laughing, you may have what it takes.

  6. Will you work holidays? Phonesex is big business on days that you might normally enjoy spending with your family. Expect high call volumes on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. Looking for a day off? Mother’s Day, Superbowl Sunday, and anytime during the Final Four are your best bet.

  7. Got a landline? Not much hardware is needed for adult chat, but you will need a dedicated line. I found out far too late that anyone nearby with a police scanner can listen to your calls if you’re on a cell. Besides, you never want to run out of minutes.

  8. Can you create characters? Each character you play will need their own backstory. Keep in mind stereotypical male fantasies. Suggestions for sample characters include: aerobics instructor, nurse, barely legal student, librarian, policewoman, scientist (with nothing on under the lab coat, of course), and prostitute on her first day.

  9. Do you play nice? Phone sex is not like dating. It’s customer service, which means your job is to make sure the caller is having a good time. Your goal is to keep them on the line, and make them want to call again. If you can’t pretend to like sexist, rude, mean, or otherwise horrible people—phonesex is not a gig for you.

  10. Are you reliable? Every job has its down side. Chat lines may require you to put in a lot of hours, some of which will be spent waiting for calls to come in. They also need to plan phone coverage in advance, so not being available (or not “in the mood”) can get you fired.

  11. What about your family? Many professional adult chatters hide what they do from friends, family, even their significant other. While that choice is entirely up to you—I urge you not to keep your work a secret from anyone you’re pursuing a committed relationship with. People can get weird about phonesex, and it’s best that you be upfront and above board. Also best to find out early if your new significant other is the bossy or judgmental type.

  12. Got a (sex) toy box? Many clients love the illusion that you’re having as much fun as they are. Facilitate this by using a sex toy that makes noise—say, a loud vibrating sound.

  13. Honestly, can you act? The key to longer calls and repeat clients is to help clients enjoy themselves. Part of this involves the client believing everything you say. If you sound like you’re reading from a script, or that you’re dying with embarrassment, most clients will not find that sexy.

  14. Can you handle rejection? Sometimes you and a client just won’t hit it off. Sometimes his um…little soldier won’t stand at attention, causing him to hang up angrily. Some men hang up immediately after ah…finishing. If you take things like that personally, they can ruin your evening or impact future calls.

  15. Does it seem like fun? They say that if you’re doing a job you love, it never feels like work. Honestly, sometimes these “sexy” conversations really do feel like work. They may make sex seem unsexy, or using your voice like a tiresome chore. But if phone work is something you want to explore—you totally should!

If you’ve read this quiz and thought, “Yeah, I got this.” The next step is to look around for a company you might like to work for. The best place to begin is Sexyjobs.com. You can also try calling lines that advertise on TV or in men’s magazines. Many pay between 30 and 75 cents a minute (only for the minutes you’re on a call)—you should expect to be offered about ¼ of what customers are charged. Working for a phonesex company will save you money on advertising (which can be damn expensive) and will be a huge help in cultivating a client base. At the same time, if you’re willing to make the investment, there’s something to be said for keeping 100% of the profits all to yourself. Whichever way you decide to go—Good Luck!


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