Because you’re obviously bored, the alcohol is free, and there’s nothing else to do…
Take a sip every time you have to pretend to be excited about seeing people you were excited to never have to see again.
Take a sip every time your high school friends are nothing compared to your college friends.
But take another sip, because you still love them.
Take a sip every time your high school friends don’t understand a joke you have with your college friends.
Take a sip when your mom does your laundry for you.
And washes your dishes.
And take a sip every time you forget about this magical machine known as “dishwasher.”
Take a sip every time you don’t miss the cafeteria food compared to home cooking.
But take another sip because you kind of miss having french fries every day.
Take a sip if you honestly ate too many french fries to show up at the pool anytime soon.
Take a sip for every time your parents buy you things.
Take a shot for every item they buy for you at Target.
And take a sip every time you are overwhelmed with joy because you can go to Target pretty much any time you want all summer.
Take a sip when you check your bank account and see more money in there than you have in months. Because at least for now you don’t buy alcohol and pizza literally always.
Take a sip every time you feel weird about masturbating in your childhood bed.
Take a sip if you think it’s weird that the shower is so clean.
And take another sip because you don’t have to wear shower shoes for a few months.
Finish the drink when you’ve watched literally everything on Netflix, Hulu, and HBOGo.
Take a sip when you actually miss going to class.
And homework.
And writing papers.
And take a freaking shot when you actually kind of miss the library.
Take a sip every time you think it is insane that everyone in your family goes to bed at 10pm. Because your bed time is a little closer to 3am at this point.
Take a sip every time you wonder if your family is going to judge you for how late you sleep in tomorrow.
Take a sip every time your family judges you for eating all of the food while they’re sleeping.
Go through old family photos and take a sip for every picture you save in your phone for a #tbt. Now you’re drunk AF and you’ve got enough #tbt pics to last until you come home for Thanksgiving. What an incredibly productive summer at home!
