New York City is starting to suck – at least the Times Square part of it is, anyway. Back before the Giuliani administration, Times Square was a mess of hookers, sex shops, muggers, drug dealers, homeless people and curb side prophets – definitely not a place you’d want to be walking around in by yourself.
In the mid to late 90’s all of that changed. The sex shops and other undesirables were out; Disney and ESPN were in. Times Square was a playground for locals and tourists alike. It was a place where the city came alive 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
And then, it was gone. Under Mayor Bloomberg, the cars were diverted and Times Square was turned into a walking park. Gone was the charm and the energy, replaced with cheap plastic chairs and a strange feeling that something was missing.
Times Square has only gotten worse since then. Locals avoid it like the plague as tourists have over run it, attracting the attention of aggressive street hawkers and beggars out to rip people off of a few bucks. The heart of the city has been taken away.
To prove what a disorganized shit hole it’s become, here’s a complete list of everyone I encounter, run into or am accosted by, in order, as I walk each morning from the Port Authority Bus Station (on the south west corner of 8th Avenue and 42nd Street) to the subway station on Broadway and 42nd (literally, one block) on my way to work:
- Right outside the bus station is the kid in his early 20’s who just needs $48 for a bus ride back to Maine. He’s needed $48 for this trip for over two months, now.
- Across the street, standing on the south east corner of 8th and 42nd, is the line of eight big guys from two competing tour bus companies. Each guy has a large sign hanging around his necks, promoting city tours. They completely block off access to the sidewalk, so I either barrel through them and have a bunch of guys yelling in my ear about open air tour bus deals, or I’m forced to walk around them, in the street.
- A tall guy with a sign that says he is a “homeless vet, please help.” He has new sneakers on, a jacket that looks pretty clean for a homeless guy, and what look to be fairly expensive frames for his glasses. In one ten minute span, I’ve seen him collect at least $10 (if that holds up, he’s pulling in roughly $60 an hour, tax free).
- A guy sitting on a dirty blanket with a mangy looking dog, a cup for money and a sign that says “Will Work For Food. God Bless You.” I have given him my phone number and offered him a job. Twice. So far, he hasn’t called me.
- A rather large woman who works for the Ripley’s Believe It or Not museum, and stands in the middle of the sidewalk with a microphone, shouting “Deescounts! Reeply’s deescounts! Deescounts!” and shoving coupons at anyone unfortunate enough to pass within three feet of her.
- A person dressed as a cartoon character I can only assume to be Winnie the Pooh if Winnie the Pooh had matted fur and was anorexic.
- A monk giving away some crap wrapped in gold foil.
- A guy at the midway mark of the block, handing out brochures for open air tour bus rides, in case you somehow avoided the linebackers at the corner.
- Two people dressed like Micky and Minnie Mouse. I’m a 42 year old man, walking alone – no, I don’t want my picture taken with you.
- A large line of bratty kids from some school or another, waiting to get into Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum. Apparently that’s what passes for a field trip these days.
- Four tourists with a burning desire to have their picture taken next to the statue of Morgan Freeman that stands outside of Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum.
- Some idiot dressed as a minion.
- Three tourists who have to take pictures of themselves next to a police horse, because apparently either horses or police are rarities in other parts of the world.
- An outrageously long line of morons standing in a line that extends around the block, waiting for hours to get into a Champs sporting good store so that they can buy…sneakers. Yes, this is during the work week, when these guys could either be at a job or looking for one.
- Two people standing on either side of the sidewalk trying to give away free copies of the AM New York newspaper.
- A crazy guy who keeps yelling that the world is about to end. Tell me about it, brother.
- Another line of eight or so guys trying to push open air tour bus rides on the corner of Broadway and 42nd. I’m approaching them from behind this time, so it’s not as bad.
- Across the street, just outside of the subway station, three people standing next to a portable book shelf, in case you needed some literature about Jesus to read on your subway ride.
- And, finally, just inside the subway stop, the random person blocking the turnstiles, asking everyoneif they have an unlimited pass so he could ride the train for free.
That’s one block, without exaggeration. Welcome to the new New York City.
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