Making friends and getting dates seems so easy; you like someone, you talk, they like you, right? Bullshit. In reality it’s a minefield of saying the wrong thing, acting like a fool or coming across as a dick. But don’t worry, science has got your back, it turns out there’s an art form to get that special one to start thinking about you the same way:
1. Be an open book.
To get people to trust you, to understand you, to really know you, you’ve got to be upfront and honest with who you are. The way you present yourself to others has to be open and revealing.
This puts people at ease and makes friendship or a relationship far more likely ‘cos you trust the people you know because you know them to trustworthy. S’all science, basically.
2. Choose favorites.
Not in a mean way, but there are people you like, and people you don’t. Some guys just rub you up the wrong way, something about their face, or their voice or the fact they wear “Tap-out” clothing. There can be a million reasons why someone isn’t your cup-o-tea.
Embrace this feeling, don’t be mean to those you don’t like, just don’t chill with them, ‘cos it turns out being selective of who hang out with makes you way hotter. Trying to please everyone comes across as desperate, being selective makes you seem attractive. So if you start to pick and choose, way more people will start to choosing you.
3. Be a little risky.
Going on a date? Go somewhere that gets the heart pumping. Not in a physical exertion kinda way, in an “I’m scared shitless” kinda way. Take them paintballing, take them bungee jumping, take them to a restaurant staffed entirely by grizzly bears, take them anywhere that will get the palms sweaty and takes the ticker to overdrive.
This will simulate the standard bodily behaviors connected to falling in love, giving them a misattribution of arousal and kick starting their attraction to you. It’s a bit of a sneaky trick, but don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
4. Keep it honest.
Playing hard to get is bullshit. It’s grade school tactics left over from the playground era, where telling your crush they smell of gross and have boy-cooties had the desired effect; usually making them cry.
Funny as it may sound, acting like you don’t like someone makes them think they don’t like you, not exactly rocket surgery. It was proven in a study back in the 60s that if you tell some one you like them, they’re far more likely to like you back. So go on, spill your guts. On another note, who funds these things anyway?
5. Ask for a hand.
If you really, really want someone to like, respect and potentially fall for you, ask for their help. It’s called the Ben Franklin effect, if someone helps you out; they’re more likely to help you out again later on.
This is ‘cos if someone has neutral feelings for you and then do you a favour, those neutral feelings will turn positive, ‘cos you wouldn’t help out someone who you didn’t like. Now they like you they’ll probably help you out again, and so on and so forth, and before you know it they’ll be putty in your hand.
