To the Girl Who’s Holding Herself Back from Life

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. ? Michael Jordan

When we are afraid, we pull back from life.

It’s very normal to put up a shield after a bad experience. Heartbreak, rejection, “failure” – all these things condition us to put our guard up. We want to protect ourselves, so we make a promise to our heart that it won’t get a stab wound again like before. But that’s also usually when we start to pull back from our life. We start to be afraid to connect, to love and to fully live – but like Denis Waitley said, “life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” You can’t fall in love with your life with one foot on the brakes.

Figure out what is holding you back.

Stop worrying about everyone else, the only person you need to bring to your own attention is you. Falling back in love with your life rests in the fearlessness to understand your obstacles and addictions, and to make an active effort to change what isn’t making you happy.

Never settle for less than you deserve. 

Understand that it is not the thought that counts. Someone can have the best intentions in the world, but if they don’t execute them, what’s the point?

You deserve people in your life that show up for you, that show you that they care. The intent is not enough; knowing deep down that someone loves you is not enough, it’s not the thought that’s important, it’s the action.

Your happiness cannot depend on another person.

If you hand over your whole significance and happiness to another person, you’re giving them the full power to control your entire mood; your happiness becomes entirely dependent on them.

That’s why we have to fall in love with our lives, create lives that inspire us, so if anyone does us wrong we have these amazing lives to fall back on.

Know your value.

Never feel like you cannot go on without someone who is clearly going on without you. It happens to the best of us – we go out of our way for someone who wouldn’t go out of their way for us.

It’s not about censoring your emotions and passion – it’s about knowing who to give it to. If you feel like someone isn’t making the effort to meet you halfway, that’s a big sign that they haven’t done the work yet to be ready for love and be able to appreciate you.

Stop restricting yourself.

“The universe has no restrictions. You place restrictions on the universe with your expectations.” Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. Don’t ever desensitize yourself – we are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us.

If the feeling you have for a person is not reciprocated, who cares? There are about 7.3 billion people in this world, the notion that you won’t find someone who you like even more is comical.

Forget fulfilling some checklist for life.

In the words of Thomas Moore, “The need to be normal is the predominant anxiety disorder in modern life.”  Think about what you really want.

Your time is precious, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Stop pressuring yourself so much, you have time. You can still do anything. You can change your mind. You can start over. No matter how old you, it’s never too late to do anything you want.

You need to fight for it.

When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. Our souls are alive – we’re like little kids again seeing the world for the first time – being in loved multiples all the good in life and changes us forever.

Love never dies a natural death. We stop being in love with our lives the day we start living someone else’s life. We stop taking risks, we start being afraid, we settle. The way we fight for love is the same way we need to fight for our lives.

Stop fighting the old. 

Trying to fight the old is a battle you will never win because your wasting all your energy that you can be using to build the new, to innovate the life you actually want to live.

Don’t dwell on past pain, life is full of surprises. There is always a reason for why things didn’t work out.

You deserve an extraordinary life.

The moment you really start believing that, is the moment that things will change. Never tolerate your life, never settle for anything less than what you innately desire.

Sometimes we’re afraid to be our greatest self, so we shrink ourselves so that other people won’t feel insecure around us. But it’s actually when you’re living your life confidently, freely and without restraint, that you emit the kind of energy that inspires others to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, we can fall back in love with our lives, and our presence can inspire others to do the same.

Nothing great comes easily.

Nothing easy is worth it. In order to fall back in love with your life, you must overcome hurdles. But they are thrilling hurdles, for life without obstacles would be hopelessly boring.

Published by

Anna Bashedly

Anna is a professional napper living in NYC Twitter handle: Facebook URL:

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