I remember sitting in my supervisors office and she sat me down, and in a meeting that was suppose to be about what I would be doing in the upcoming week, all that froze in the first sentence of, “this isn’t working out. Today is your last day.” I sat there completely numb, I couldn’t have heard her correctly, but then like a living nightmare the next moments I just went through the motions failing to hold back tears, as I handed the HR director my key, as I packed up my desk, as I took my name tag, as everyone said goodbye.
I walked down the long hallway I had spent so many mornings coming in first and leaving last, only to have one final walk. My arms felt like jello, with two big bags full of my things and I openly wept in the subway, heartbroken I wouldn’t be on it again. I walked around the city that late afternoon in the pouring rain, not even phased by it. The good thing about rain is, it hid the tears for a moment. I fell into my brother’s arms completely unable to speak. “Did you even see it coming?” No.
I had always worked my ass off for everything, and I closest I ever came to failing in life was a D+, but still maintained a high GPA.?I laid in bed for a good 5 days, not showering, not eating, not leaving my bed, I didn’t want to see anyone, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t know what to do. It was like everything I had spent the past nine months since graduation working for, ended with failure. After wallowing in self pity for days, drinking too much, and sleeping even more, the next Monday I pulled myself out of bed, at the same time I would have if I went to work. Suddenly, it hit me I realized how happy I was to never have to go back there.
What getting fired from what I considered my dream job taught me, was that it was anything but that. I was happier to have a job and tell people I had a job in New York City, at a publishing house more than I actually liked what I was doing. I never admitted to anyone I wasn’t enjoying it, I worked too hard to even get there, that I would have worked for years hating it, if they didn’t fire me. I didn’t enjoy my days, I worked hard, but I didn’t love it. And the reflection was I did my best for a job I didn’t like, but I didn’t amount to my best, because I didn’t like it. What I had done wrong was I took the first job instead of taking the right job.
Sometimes you have got to make these mistakes to learn. Looking back if I knew then what I know now it’d be foolish to make the same choice, but I think making that choice and learning from this was vital to any success I will have in life.
No mistakes you make are that life altering, if we are learning from them. So yes this is a set back, yes when it comes to my pride it hurts a little to say I got fired, but it isn’t about how anyone perceives you, but if you are happy. There was a happy moment before it set in that Monday morning when I realized, “oh I’m back to where I started,” but a moment in which I knew I didn’t have to wake up for a job I didn’t love, I knew I wasn’t back to square one at all.
Getting fired is not the end of the world, I compare it only to as awful of a feeling maybe worse than being dumped, but I am a firm believer in everything in your life happens the way it is suppose to. If you work hard and never settle you will end up exactly where you are suppose to be and where you are happy to be.
My advice to anyone who is A. Looking for a Job or B. Hates their job, do something that makes you happy and you will never hate it. If you are doing something you hate you aren’t amounting to your full potential and it is your job to amount to all you can and be happy. We spend a large portion of our lives working, and if you are going to spend the rest of your life doing something, you better like it. And if you do not I hope you are brave enough to walk away from it, because in the moment what seems like a major setback or mistake will really reveal itself as blessing in disguise.
For more work like this, follow our Facebook fan page