When all you drink is wine, everyone knows it. And you don’t care who knows it. There are no other options. There is only wine.
Wine is your lifeblood. You want it—and more importantly, you need it. You need it to live. You will stop at nothing to have your wine. You will stop at nothing to make any time wine time. In your world, every time in wine time. These are the things you understand when all you can drink is wine.
Opening the bottle with a corkscrew is always a gamble. And always will be.
Sometimes when you break the corkscrew, you end up trying to open the bottle by any means necessary.
A broken cork is worse than a broken heart.
You have a preference: red or white.
Once you go red, you never go back.
People think you know good wine from the bad, but honestly, you can’t tell the difference. Wine is wine.
You drink it like it’s water.
Seriously. Your glass is poured, and before anyone can look up, it’s all gone.
When you go to a party and there is no wine, you legit have a mental breakdown.
You pair your wine with literally anything.
Sometimes, you pair it with fine cheeses and crackers.
But sometimes, you pair it with a fine AF meal from McDonald’s.
Beer, liquor, and other drinks are pretty much toilet water to you.
When you’re drinking red wine, you’re in so much bliss that you forget that you’re teeth are completely black.
But that’s ok: because you’re so used to this that you carry a travel toothbrush and toothpaste in your bag.
It still doesn’t completely get washed out.
You live with a chronic and crippling fear that you will run out of wine.
When a glass of wine is more expensive then it should be . . . you want to go home, and drink your own wine alone.
You can drink an entire box of wine, no problem.
When you get home at the end of the day, the first thing you do is pour yourself a glass of wine. Then you get in your sweatpants.
You’re all too familiar with double fisting glasses.
You don’t care what kind of cup you drink your wine out of. As long as it’s wine, you’re good.
You know how hungover the wine will make you. But it’s worth it. Every damn time.