Maybe you’ve always only known your parents apart, or maybe you witnessed their marriage slowly come to a close right before your eyes.
Maybe you grew up in a seemingly normal, two parent household, and your parents decided to call it quits as you entered adulthood.
Whatever your experience with divorce and however new or comfortable the split may be, being a child of divorce is never easy.
As a child of divorce, you cannot help but view the world differently.
As a child of divorce, certain events prove much more difficult than if your parents were together.
As a child of divorce, you cannot help but have a skewed view of what love should be like.
Despite the difficult speed bumps along the way, as a child of divorce, you have the ability to accept what you cannot change, and make the best out of a not so happy situation.
Being a child of divorce doesn’t always have to be such a bad thing.
As a child of divorce…
1. You get to celebrate holidays twice.
Although overly celebrating and having to sometimes travel back and forth between homes can be stressful, having two homes to welcome you, is a special thing.
Some people don’t even have one.
2. You gain the opportunity to blend your family.
For many, the idea of having a step parent, or step-sibling, is terrifying. It’s uncomfortable to suddenly have these people in your life that you are related to, but aren’t. It’s confusing.
You are granted the opportunity to open your arms and welcome others into your home and your heart.
If your parent is happy, then embrace the happiness together. Just because you’ve accepted a new family, does not mean you’ve neglected your current family.
The bigger the better!
3. You become resilient to change.
Change is inevitable. As a child of divorce, you often become accustomed to change being the only consistency in your life.
Maybe you’re used to a parent (or both) dating a different person every week. Maybe you’re used to your parents fighting one day, and getting along the next.
Whatever the circumstance, whatever damage has been done, you know things won’t stay the same for long.
4. You have excellent time management skills.
Whether you’ve been traveling between homes all your life, or whether the traveling is new to you, you’ve learned (or are learning) the importance of managing your time.
You also learn how important your parent’s time is. It’s precious, take advantage of it.
5. You are picky as to who you let into your life.
While allowing others to truly get to know you is sometimes challenging, you have gained a very efficient relationship filter.
Some believe you fear getting close to others, but those people don’t understand. Take your time.
There’s nothing wrong with being a bit selective.
6. You learn who your real friends are.
When you’re told your parents are going their separate ways, no matter how tough you claim to be, it’s a hard truth to accept.
You may cope in ways that are unhealthy, or you may fail to cope at all. You’ll likely need extra support and encouragement during these tough times.
Not all people in your life will understand this, but those who stay despite their lack of understanding, are those who deserve you. Those who run, suck. Let them go.
7. You are realistic while dating.
Once you’ve allowed yourself to fall, you fall just as hard as the next person, yet you don’t expect one date to lead to marriage.
At first, you don’t expect it to last at all, but once a relationship begins to exceed your expectations (or lack there-of), you rarely rush it.
8. While you aren’t immune to heartbreak, you are prepared when it occurs.
Almost every person I know has experienced some kind of heartbreak. Maybe you fell in love for the first time and it didn’t work out. Maybe your best friend moved away.
Maybe you lost the opportunity to chase your dream. Whatever has the capability of breaking your heart does not surprise you.
No matter how much it hurts, you somehow always know, you’ll be okay.
9. You understand every ending has a new beginning.
Endings are rarely welcomed, and that’s okay, but when they come (which they will), there’s very little you can do about it.
When endings occur, you have no choice, but to start over. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be possible, and so worth it.
10. You know better than to blame your parent’s divorce on a failed relationship, or your lack of ability to let go.
Because of them, you are here. Because of them, you have the freedom to be whoever you want to be.
You can choose to be sad, or you can choose to be awesome.
Choose to be awesome.