Friendship is a lot like falling in love. You meet someone, you have similar interests, and you hit it off from there. It’s like the inseparable duo right from the start. What we all seem to forget along the way is friendship is based on a give and take basis. You do something for them, and later they return the same to you. This isn’t done out of obligation, or because they think it’s what they should do, it’s just a mutual understanding that you would do anything for each other.
What happens when the give and take stops, or what if it only takes? That’s a friendship that isn’t worth the effort. It’s really a friendship that is screaming this is a fake friend. Everyone has come across a fake friend at some point in their life, lucky for us though there are warning signs. So how do you know your bestie is a fake? Here are 10 ways to know your ‘bestie’ is a fraud, you could spot them a mile away.
1. They see you as a means to an end. Sure maybe this is a little harsh, but they see you working hard, grinding, doing what you have to do to get through life, and they jump on the back of your car and hitch a ride, even if you have a flat tire. Perhaps you offered to pay for dinner, and then you always pay, and never get something in return. Maybe you went on a trip, and you paid for the whole thing. A true friend would see the kindness and re-pay or do something for you. Those who don’t fall into the true forever friend, see you as a stepping stone, once they don’t need you, or you can’t help them anymore, adios.
2. They use specific words that make you feel like shit for no reason. It’s really just flowery bullshit. “I couldn’t have done it without you”, sure you could have, it’s called get your wallet out, or call someone to repair whatever it is. They know that words are easy to make and can be used to manipulate unassuming people.
3. They gossip endlessly about others. This is the big RED flag waving at you. If they are constantly talking about other people, what are they saying about you behind your back? That’s not a fun thought to think about is it? But that is how they convince themselves that they are better than everyone else, even you.
4. They expect you to drop everything so you can cater to their needs and beckoning call. You know those texts, asking you for help and that they would be so grateful if you did this or that? Let’s be clear, you probably often help them, and they rarely help you. There are times that you can’t though, when you have too much on your plate or other plans, but their situation is always more important than anything you have going on.
5. They make you feel guilty when you don’t hang out with them, or when you can’t help them once in a while. “How come we don’t hang out anymore?” All the nagging, needy and selfish questions that make you feel uncomfortable because let’s be honest, life happens, you get busy, doesn’t mean you don’t care about them, but you just had stuff you needed to do. Don’t feel guilty, don’t let them guilt you.
6. They make their life seem more important than anything else. Even that crappy $3/hour serving job they have is just BRUTAL, compared to your 40 hour work week and college. You just overreact to things, their life is seriously too hard. Work is important, everyone needs to work, we all need money, but when they embellish what they truly do to make you feel less important or that you aren’t doing life right, then they just suck. Fake friend.
7. They always exaggerate things to look better. Maybe they lost 5 pounds, but they tell everyone 10-15. Maybe they went to a party with you, and their story isn’t what happened, but when you confront it, then the joke is on you. This happens way too much, don’t put up with it, especially when the joke is on you. Everyone has their limits, don’t make up an excuse for a friend when they push those limits.
8. There is shit talking behind your back. Maybe not to your other friends, but to people you both knew in the past, maybe to people from high school, maybe to people at their work, and ironically you know someone there. Fake friends don’t keep secrets. A listening ear is also attached to the face with a running mouth. Remember that.
9. They are overly nice to EVERYBODY. Being nice is fine, but there is a point when being too nice is a bit odd. You can’t like literally everyone, there are people that we all can’t tolerate. Being overly nice is the starting sign to a fake friend.
10. You have friends, but you don’t feel like it. They are there to celebrate when you have a victory, but when you have a loss they are nowhere to be found. When you feel alone when being around people, something is wrong. When you need help and your ‘bestie’ is nowhere to be found, then something is wrong.