Women And Cycles …. the struggle
That sentence basically sums up how we feel about our monthly visitor. For one week out of every month, mother nature has blessed us with raving bitch fits, irrational sobbing, and weird cravings. It’s like a bad sitcom on steroids.
After those 5 days you are back to your normal self which is the occasional freak out, mild sobbing, and well, still weird cravings. Though not every period is the same for every girl, you can be sure that some or all of this will sound all too familiar.
1. Why am I late?
2. Am I pregnant?
3. *Stands in front of mirror pushing out stomach*
4. I feel like I gained 5 pounds overnight, I must be pregnant.
5. Oh just kidding, I got my period.
6. YAY. I STARTED MY PERIOD. NOT PREGNANT!
7. Ugh, I started my period.
8. So I’m not carrying the miracle of a child, I’m just bloated AF, great.
9. Where’s the chocolate?
11. I hate everything and everyone.
12. That waitress was giving me a dirty look.
13. *Starts to cry*
14. Why does she hate me I’m a good person?
15. *Scene from D-Day occurring in Uterus* Yes, I am enjoying this.
16. WHY COULDN’T I HAVE BEEN BORN A MAN?
17. I need Midol.
18. And vicodin.
19. And anesthesia.
20. And probably need to invest in a casket.
21. *More Cramps*
22. And… I’m dead.
23. Must. Get. Chocolate. NOW.
24. I need to watch Titanic.
25. *Starts to cry* JACK THERE WAS ROOM FOR YOU TOO.
26. *Still Crying 2 hours later* Why couldn’t they have both lived?
27. A world where Jack dies and I have to suffer from debilitating cramps is extremely flawed.
28. *Eats bagels with ranch dressing* Okay, everything is looking up. I’ve discovered culinary excellence.
29. What am I doing with my life?
30. If only I could get off this couch I would be out there accomplishing all my goals.
31. Ugh. Mother Nature is keeping me from living the life I’m meant to. Selfish b*tch she is.
32. But at least I have an excuse to finish this whole pint of Ben & Jerrys.