Maybe you live with your significant other already, or maybe the two of you have been talking about making the big move for awhile now. Whoever you are, and wherever you plan to go relationship-wise, there's a likely chance you aren't both always on the same page.
Despite the many differences present in all relationships, it's important you are both able to establish attainable rules together.
1. Pick your battles.
Him: I don't like your movies, and I don't like your music, so I won't always be as excited as you may wish when you invite me to the movies or to watch a show. But, I’ll do it (probably more often than you expect), I promise.
Her: I think what you meant to say was you don’t like my movies or my music, yet! But, I get it, you’re not always going to want to do what I want to do. Thank God, because if I have to sit through one more episode of whatever it is you’re always watching… you might need to find yourself another roommate.
2. Do nice things for each other; It’s the little things that count.
Him: When we're watching Netflix and you get up to go to the bathroom, which is like 20 times per episode, it's always appreciated when you offer to refill my drink of choice for that evening. It's the thought that counts and it never goes unnoticed.
Her: First of all, remember the importance of “picking your battles” and leave my tiny bladder out of this. Second of all, done. Believe it or not, I enjoy making you happy. Some tips on making me happy include, but are not limited to, wine, Taco Bell, and back tickles.
3. Never try to change one another.
Him: Video games are a part of who I am, this will never change. I'm sorry, but sometimes I need the escape.
Her: Do your thing, but please don’t expect me to miraculously turn into a gamer overnight. I know it would be a dream come true to have me play all those games with you, but I seriously lack the interest or ability to sit for hours on end staring at a television screen.
4. Accept bathroom-talk as a new norm in your relationship.
Him: The bathroom is a guy's sanctuary, his safe space. Sometimes we will be in there for an hour doing absolutely nothing, don't always assume the worst.
Her: It’s hard not to assume the worst when someone spends an entire hour in a room specifically made to relieve your bowels. If I’m in the bathroom for an hour, I’m probably not doing absolutely nothing. Just pretend I am, though.
5. Allow ample time to spend with friends without the other present.
Him: I need my guys, as much if not more than you need your girls. You'll be invited to join most of the time, but don't take it personally the times that you aren't, okay?
Her: I love that for the most part we share the same friends, but sometimes, pretending I’m one of the boys is pointless and exhausting. I’m not one of the boys, and I never want to be categorized as “one of the boys.” I like chick flicks, wine nights, and endless gossip about things that don’t matter. Don’t worry, when it comes to girl’s nights, you’re not invited.
6. Learn to work together when it comes to cleaning. It may not be fun, but it has to get done somehow.
Him: I'm a guy, I can be messy. But I promise, if you ask me politely I will clean up whatever it is (two or more times it's okay to not be so nice).
Her: Here’s the thing, I’m not your maid, and I refuse to ever become one. Do you need to be the cleanest person in the world? No way! Do you need to learn to pick up after yourself? Yes! We are both adults. Please don’t make me ask more than once.
7. Embrace the ability to have your own likes and dislikes. You don’t have to do everything together.
Him: I love sports and will watch any one of them if nothing else is on, that's how I learned about Australian Rules Football in college! But hey, we have two TV's for a reason, right??
Her: Sometimes I need my space. I want you to invite me to spend time with you when sports are on, but I also want you to understand and accept when I choose to do my own thing at that time. Call me a stereotypical girl, but the only sport’s game I’ve ever semi watched, is the Super Bowl. And, I only really care about the halftime show.
8. It’s perfectly okay to actually sleep when you go to bed.
Him: Sometimes when I go to bed, I just want to go to bed (you can always wake me up before my alarm though)! Don't take it personally.
Her: It’s a rare occasion for me to be able to fall asleep right away. Do I need sex every single night? No. But, it certainly helps decrease my restless nights.
9. Establish mutual road-trip rules.
Him: Growing up the rule was always, "Whoever is driving gets to pick the music", well…see #1.
Her: Prepare to plan many brief bathroom stops. You can listen to your awful music as long as you successfully make it through the entire trip without complaining about my many pee stops. The odds of this happening are slim to none, so…
10. Expect to fight.
Him: I am stubborn in my convictions and I am apologizing in advance for any future arguments it causes.
Her: I am moody, opinionated, and downright obnoxious sometimes. I love you and all, but you are too, and there’s no way this could work if we aren’t able to hash it out sometimes. Call me out on my shit, but remember, in the end, I’m always right.