Ew. Are your actions cringeworthy and utterly unladylike? Maybe, Should you care?
No. Here’s a list anyway:
1. You eat food off the floor.
The five second rule is your own personal rule of thumb, but hey 10 seconds is probably ok too.
2. Your car is messy and not normal messy.
You’re not one of those girls where you just say your car is messy so people have low expectations, when really all you have is an old starbucks and a sweatshirt. That’s not you. When you say your car is messy, you mean there’s a smell and your not sure where it’s coming from. It’s basically like an unorganized closet.
3. You don’t wash your hair often.
You tell yourself it’s because it’s good for your hair, but its really because you’re too lazy. Blowdrying is a hard workout, if you wanted an arm workout, you’d be at the gym.
This is just like when you don’t shave and say it’s for feminist reasons, but really your just not feeling like it; and you have enough pants clean to skip it.
4. You have mastered the art of eating while laying down.
You don’t choke, you got this. You just lay down, with your double chin in full effect, eating M&Ms.
5. You let your dog kiss you on the mouth.
Yeah that’s right and you kiss them right back. Tongue and all. People have to advert their eyes, but you don’t care you love them.
They licked their butt hours ago, it’s fine.
6. You forget deodorant.
Sometimes you are running so late you already have to cut out eyeliner and blush, you barely had time to brush your teeth.
Deodorant sits underneath the sink, forgotten more often than you like to admit. But it’s fine you just wipe your armpits with toilet paper in a bathroom stall.
7. You’ve kissed a stranger.
Well, a hot stranger. Plus he looked too much like a indie movie star to have any diseases you know? It’s fine you can go home and eat your vitamin C Gummies.
Everything will be fine.
8. You’ve started your period in public and had to make a makeshift tampon.
Not every girl carries tampons, in fact, it seems most don’t, especially when you need it. Time to go to the bathroom and roll up toilet paper and maybe that gum wrapper from your purse? No, better not.
Toilet paper is fine.
9. You re-wear clothes without washing them.
Unless you spilled pasta sauce on them or ran three miles in it, then what’s the point? You don’t run and you shove pasta in mouth as delicately as possible, so most of the time, your clothes still look clean. If we were meant to wash our clothes so much, then why does Febreeze exists?
Of course underwear get washed often, you’re not an animal.
10. You own a vibrator.
OMG. You actually have one? Do you use it? You wild animal.
You don’t deny yourself pleasure. You have the audacity to not rely on a man.
11. You poop.
How dare you.
Girls aren’t suppose to do this gross act, yet you refuse to deny your humanity.
You openly admit, that sometimes you poop and sometimes you get the hangover sh*ts.
12. You’ve gotten a food baby.
You eaten so much that you felt the need to unbutton your pants and make small grunting noises. You decided to eat like a man and everyone is disgusted by you.
OMG WE ARE ALL GROSS.
Yep, every single one of us. Even if you don’t qualify for everything on this list, I’m sure you have other ones that weren’t even mentioned: like you have dirt under your nails, your birth control makes your vag smell weird, or maybe you shower once a week.
We all are kind of gross, some are just better than hiding it. So maybe the things we consider gross, should really be considered normal.
Gross is normal. Be gross.
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