We all have our role in the squad. Some of us are the flirty one, some of us are the joker, some of us are the life of the party, some of us are the wallflower…
Some of us are the designated squad mom.
It’s a different world when you’re the official squad mom. You’re not unlike a real mom, but instead of carrying around diapers and punishing toddlers, you’re frequently doing sobriety checks and confiscating cell phones.
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You’re always the one who volunteers to DD for nights out.
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Before you go out, the first question you ask is what everyone ate during the day.
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If someone hasn’t eaten much, you’re the one who stuffs a few pieces of toast into her mouth so she doesn’t get too drunk too fast.
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Once you’re out, you always make sure to watch everyone’s drinks just in case they forget.
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You always do sobriety checks on your friends before they make any major (or minor) decisions.
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Cell phone confiscating is something that’s become second nature because no one really wants to drunk-dial their ex.
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You know that collecting everyone when they’re intoxicated is just like rallying a group of toddlers.
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No boy or girl is ever good enough for one of your babies.
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The person dating one of your babies knows that they probably aren’t good enough.
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Because of that, meeting you is just like meeting a girlfriend’s mom.
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You’re the go-to for advice about whether or not a potential partner has the right intentions.
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You’re the first person anyone calls if they’re worried about something, like failing a test or a pregnancy scare.
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Going to the doctor? Why would anyone do that when you’re a 24-hour hotline for medical concerns?
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You have a tendency to push the less goal-oriented friends into getting their shit together, even when they don’t want to.
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If there’s a squad gathering, chances are you’re hosting because you’re the only one who knows how to get everything together.
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You make sure to take photos at every event big or small because one day the reminders will be appreciated.
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You’ve been known to send texts like, “Make sure you let me know when you get there!??, “Call me if you need anything!??, or “Please, be safe!??
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You’ve started answering to “Mom?? even though you’re in your twenties…and so are the people who are calling you Mom.
And no matter how crazy it is being the squad mom, you’d never trade it for anything else.
