Similar to many 20-something-year-olds, I have created and maintained quite the relationship with alcohol. My drink of choice? Red wine. Lots and lots of red wine. I’m actually, drinking some as I write. I mean, what better way to do it?
In honor of just being downright awesome, I have decided to drink a glass, or two. By glass, I may mean bottle, but does that even really matter?
When I drink, I think.
Sometimes I think odd things. Sometimes I think sad things. Sometimes I think things that are so funny I literally Laugh Out Loud. I rarely ensure others know I’m “LOL?" but it still counts, right?
In honor of my delicious $6 dollar bottle of Cab from Trader Joe’s, I’d like to present to you some of the things I think, when I drink:
I should probably Snap Chat a picture of my huge glass of wine so everybody knows what a heavy hand I have.
Shoot, maybe I shouldn’t, I’ve done that too many times. People might think I drink too much.
Do I drink too much?
I worked all day, I deserve it!
UGH! I work tomorrow. At least I still have three more hours before I have to sleep.
Is my alarm set?
Seriously, how do I keep setting my alarm to PM?!
It’s always AM, you dummy. Get it together.
I wonder if there are any sad movies on Netflix I haven’t watched.
How has The Notebook still never made it to Netflix? This is not okay.
Whispers to self, “If I’m a bird, you’re a bird."
Ugh. Fuck you, Netflix.
I should probably FaceTime my boyfriend so he can see how big my glass of wine is.
He’s not impressed.
My mom’s going to be really disappointed with how far from literature this piece is. She probably won’t like that it’s about drinking, either.
Sorry, Mom! I love you!
I, no joke, thought this would be a really good idea.
Suddenly all the things I think that I think when I drink… are likely not funny at all to other people.
Those other people suck.
Or, do I?
…
…
…
Nope.
Still awesome!