Picture this: you wake up one morning, sunlight coating your comforter with silky warmth, your brain slowly working its way to its awakened stage…when you feel it.
That telling pain in the back of your throat that makes you want to go back to sleep immediately.
Your first thought is probably something along the lines of:
1) Oh hell no. I cannot afford to get sick.
Followed by:
2) Are you kidding me, body?
It’s one thing to get sick when you’re a kid because then you can get out of school and get everyone to feel bad for you.
But when you’re an adult, it’s a whole different story.
When you’re an adult, you have to tough it out and do adult things, no matter how much you really don’t want too.
3) Maybe I’ll just take some cold medicine and that’ll get rid of it…
Colds have a tendency to take all of the energy right out of you. You could sleep for days and still not feel rested because your entire body has decided that functionality is overrated.
4) I’m so tired. Do I have to go to work?
5) Holy crap it’s cold.
You wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, and by the time you get really comfortable, your temperature spikes and you feel like you were just in a broiler.
6) Now it’s hot.
Not long after that, you get cold, then hot, then cold, then hot. It’s a vicious and endless cycle of misery.
7) Goddamn it, decide what you want, body!
8) Oh, I’m out of tissues and I look like a long lost cousin of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Awesome.
9) There aren’t enough Disney movies or YouTube videos to make this okay.
“Enjoy being sick?? Right. I’ll enjoy it when I stop feeling like my lungs and heart are trying to escape through my mouth.
10) Why are doctors’ so difficult to track down?!
11) Great, now I sound like a 40 year old smoker.
No offense to smokers, but I’ve never had a cigarette a day in my life, and I don’t intend to ever start smoking. Does it sound that way when I talk? Of course not.
12) My chest hurts.
13) Why is my nose so itchy?!
It’s not enough that snot keeps dripping out at the most annoying times, but my nose is so freaking itchy I can barely stand it.
14) I want my mom.
15) I’m so tired.
So. Sleepy. Just want a nap…
16) I’ve never enjoyed tea as much as I do now because at least my throat isn’t on fire.
Honey! Lemon! Soothing, wonderful liquid!
17) Oh, hello there headache. How nice of you to drop by.
Because I definitely needed that. Speaking of…
18) Sleep? Who needs that?
19) I’m pretty sure this is what death warmed over feels like.
20) I’m going to appreciate my health so much when I’m better.
I hope.