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22 Reasons Why the Absolute Last Thing I Want Is a Boyfriend

For awhile I thought all I wanted was a relationship; someone to love and take care of me. This may still be true, but I have realized that no one can love me and take care of me like I can.

  1. I can take as long as I want getting ready without the constant nagging and hearing “It’s been an hour, how are you not ready yet?” 

  2. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want… which includes getting that hottie at the bar’s number.

  3. I don’t have to pretend to like his crappy friends… because let’s face it, we never had anything in common anyways.

  4. I have more time to see my friends.

  5. No pants? Sure.

  6. Personal grooming is optional, the only person I have to impress is myself.

  7. I don’t have to share the bed with anyone… starfishing every night.

  8. Don’t want to clean up my mess? No worries.

  9. I can stay out as late as I want, without having to check in with anyone.

  10. I can now experience love in a new, and unexpected way… but mostly with pizza.

  11. The only person I have to spoil is myself… and why wouldn’t I? I’m fucking fantastic.

  12.  I don’t have to fake laugh at someone else’s jokes, just my own… because let’s be honest I’m hilarious.

  13. I can poop and fart openly, and shamelessly.

  14. “Netflix and Chill” has a whole new meaning… no more interruptions.

  15. I can eat everything in sight without feeling judged.

  16. A bottle of wine for dinner? No problem. 

  17. Two words: No In-Laws.

  18. I’m committed to the only person I know I can rely on myself.

  19. I can sleep with whoever I want, whenever I want (although I don’t it’s nice to know the options there).

  20. Drunk make outs at the bar are totally acceptable.

  21. I can constantly work on improving myself, not my relationship.

  22. And most importantly I have all the time in the world for myself, so I can become the exact person I aspire to be.