There's nothing more infuriating than when a relationship ends and there's no clear closure. They say they won't be with you, but they leave just enough hope to make you think there's a chance it might still work out later.
We've all heard these phrases and we're calling bullshit on them.
1. "You deserve so much better." Yeah no shit Sherlock, any one who uses a line like this is a total dbag.
2. "It's not you, it's me." Well of course it's you, I'm the best thing to happen to this world since sliced bread.
3. "Sometimes love just isn't enough." Yeah it also takes effort and apparently you're lazy AF.
4. "We've been through too much together." Ok? Your point?
5. "Can't we just be us for a bit without all the other stuff?" I'm assuming that by 'us' you mean sex and by 'other stuff' you mean our relationship, so the answer is a firm no.
6. "Timing is everything." Yeah? Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D. author of "Timing Is Not Everything" begs to differ.
7. "You're the kind of girl you marry, not the kind you date." Newsflash jerkwad, you date someone before you marry them.
8. "You're too good for me." How about I be the judge of my own downgrading, hm?
9. "I still care about you but I don't want to hurt you again." Well thank you for confusing me with this one, my overthinking mind is gonna love this.
10. "I'll always be here for you but we both know how it is." When you say 'we' do you have a mouse in your pocket? 'Cause I honestly have no idea 'how it is.'
11. "I'm just really confused right now." Ok so about how long do you estimate you'll be confused for? And is it like the math lady meme confused or bi-curious confused?
12. "I need to focus on myself." Weird… you say that as if you've been focusing on me, when in reality I haven't seen an ounce of your attention.
13. "We both need to take time to figure out what we want." Last time I checked we wanted a relationship with each other, but apparently you're going rogue.
14. "It's too complicated right now." Yes hello welcome to Earth, everything is complicated all the time, that's life.
15. "Let's just be friends and see what happens." Let's not and say we did and see what happens then.
16. "If only I had met you later in life." If only you weren't a walking cliche.
17. "You're the one I want forever, just not right now." Forever isn't exactly something you can add conditions to, so I think what you really meant to say is 'never.'
18. "I don't want to throw away all of our memories, but I don't need a relationship right now." Oh, well while we're making a list, I don't need your pathetic excuses.
19. "Just give it some time." By 'it' you mean…?
20. "We might find each other again one day." I didn't realize I'd entered an overly dramatic lifelong game of hide and seek…
21. "I need to find myself before I settle down." When exactly was it that you went missing?
22. "You would be my first choice, but I don't want a relationship at the moment." If that first part was true then you'd choose me in any moment.
23. "I just want to lay low for a while." I know I'm pretty and everything but it's not like I have paparazzi following me around…
24. "I need some "me" time." Haven't you heard of 'Saturdays are for the boys'? Just give me Sunday through Friday and we're good.
25. "I want to experience the world and I can't be in a relationship to do that." Yes because the world is strictly a solitary experience, you're right. Makes total sense.
If we're over, don't give any cliche, bullshit excuses. Don't give us anything to hang onto that there might be a chance later. If you're done, say you're done, and be done.
