When you and your BFF meet up for a drink or 35, you both tend to lose any filters you have when sober.
1. “Okay, we’re only having a couple and then leaving.”
*Cut to you both waking up in the neighbor’s bushes, clutching some half-eaten fast food.*
2. “Let’s take a shot!”
Of course, one somehow turns into six.
3. “I can’t stand *insert cunty girl’s name*”
Since one of you hates her, she’s a sworn enemy of you both.
4. “That guy is sooo hot.”
That’s your cue to go say hi and be the best wing woman you can be.
5. “I think I’m fucked up.”
Translation: I’m definitely fucked up.
6. “Let’s dance.”
It’s all fun and games until one of you trips in the heels you both regret wearing.
7. “You’re too pretty.”
There’s never a bad time to hype each other up.
8. “I have to pee. Now.”
Girl Code states that you have to go to the bathroom too, even if you don’t actually need to.
9. “I just love you.”
You’re both blitzed, so it’s time to get into your feelings.
10. “You’re not allowed to cry over that fuckboy!”
Seriously, he’s not worth it.
11. “… I think I’m going to text him.”
You snatch her phone before she even finishes the sentence and don’t give it back until that urge leaves her drunken mind.
12. “Drink that or I’ll punch you.”
If there’s one thing you’re not, it’s quitters.
13. “How many shots have we had?”
If you have to ask, the answer is always “too many.”
14. “We need more shots.”
Yes, yes you do.
15. “Thank you for being there for me.”
Annnd your feels are back. Thanks, shots.
16. “You’d better not disappear.”
Girl Code again, you’d never leave each other behind.
17. “How are we getting home?”
Uber, duh.
18. “No seriously, I’m not staying out late like last time.”
*You two stumble out of the bar together at closing*
19. “Let’s take a picture.”
That actually means you’re going to take 900, but finding the right one is so worth the trouble.
20. “Is it okay to post this one?”
Real best friends never post pictures of one another without getting them okayed first.
21. “Ugh, I look so fat.”
Psh, you’re both twigs. Being drunk is no excuse for a pity party.
22. “I’m starving.”
Wait, when was the last time you guys ate?
23. “We’re getting food on the way home, I don’t care what you say.”
Where’s the nearest drive-thru?
24. “We’re splitting this Uber, hoe.”
Cause that shit’s expensive.
25. “You’re my best friend; I’d be lost without you.”
Duh, but you say it at least 60 times just to be sure.
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