1. I need a mother fuckin coffee
*On my way to get coffee. la de dah fucking la de dah*
2. Way to use your blinker…asshole.
3. Is today a triple shot day? Nah I'm good. I'm not a weak ass bitch.
4. I apologize to anyone in advance for my shitty behavior…I haven't had caffeine yet.
5. No, actually I don't apologize…this is who I am.
*Walks into coffee shop*
6. Wipe that smile off your bitch ass face. Wait. Did I say that out loud?
7. Still smiling. Okay good. Yep, it's definitely a triple shot day.
8. You are definitely a weak ass bitch.
9. Nope. I don't want to make small talk…
10. Please don't talk to me
11. Yeah… going to work afuckinggain… just like yesterday and the day before.
12. What the fuck is taking so long? Did you go to Africa to get the beans?
13. You're only getting a dollar tip today. It's been decided.
14. Where's my regular girl at? I don't even need to give her my order.
15. Do I make eye contact with them or do I look at my coffee as they hand it to me?
*anxiety building up*
16. Better look at my hand or I'm going to spill it.
17. Starting to drive away. Oh shit, forgot my debit card.
18. Sips drink. All my pain is going away….
19. Three dollar tip cause your cool as fuck.
20. Thank you barista for saving me from myself.
21. Why is this shit so good?
22. I bet I could cure fucking cancer today.
23. Life is good.
*Arrives at work*
24. Hey, Karen! You look great today. LOVE those shoes!
25. Hate her… love those shoes.
26. Today is a fucking great day.
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