There’s people who thrive in the morning and hit the ground running. And then there’s people who can barely form a full sentence in the first few hours of the morning, let alone be energized and a functioning member of society.
Sure the early bird may get the worms, but they lose those glorious precious hours of beauty sleep. If you’re not a morning person, then this thought process will be all too familiar:
1. Ughhh that sound…what is that sound?
2. Oh that’s my alarm.
3. Alright let me just snooze it for 5 minutes.
4. Maybe 15.
5. I’ll just cut my morning routine in half. That should be quick enough to do the trick.
6. F*ck I was supposed to be up an hour ago.
7. Okay now I really do have to cut corners getting ready.
8. It’s fine, who needs breakfast anyway? Lunch is where it’s at.
9. Shower? Do I really need to shower? Can’t I just shower later tonight?
10. Okay 5 minute shower so I don’t feel like a repulsive human being.
11. Why is my hair not cooperating? Why must I have long hair?
12. I’m going to just chop it all off.
13. Until then, ponytail.
14. F*ck I’m hungry, just don’t think about it.
15. Why do I suddenly hate everything in my closet?
16. Okay, I’m probably going to be like 10 minutes late.
17. It’s fine I know three alternate faster routes.
18. Because this is who I am and this happens all the time.
19. I finally found an outfit!
20. I hate it, but I am clothed and it will have to do for now.
21. Oh good, my phone is dying and on 20% battery.
22. Oh my god look at the time! Now I’m going to be 20 minutes late.
23. Being late makes me so anxious.
24. Why do I do this to myself?
25. I need to book it.
26. And I need to come up with a good excuse for why I’m late.
27. I swear I’m a functioning adult. But like why does the world start so early?
28. How do people have time to workout in the morning?
29. Maybe one day I’ll be a morning person. But that day is not today.
