1. You should smile more.
You’re right. I should smile more. Nobody around? No problem, I’ll just smile at the wall. Or the floor. Or my roommate in the looney bin. Give me a break. You know when I’ll smile? I’ll smile when something is funny. I’ll smile when I’m genuinely happy to see you. I’ll smile when I’m singing my favorite song. But I’m not going to walk around all day with a Joker-esque, psychotic grin plastered on my face just because you, the god damn smile police, thinks I should smile more.
2. Why did you come if you’re just going to be bored?
Hey now, who said anything about being bored? I’m having a dandy time. But if you’re looking for someone who wants to go around the party telling everyone what a GREAT FUCKING TIME she’s having, I’m just not your girl. If I’m really not having a good time, you’d know it, because I’d already be gone. Because ain’t nobody got time for that.
3. I thought you hated me.
So wait, you saw me from across the room, and automatically assumed I hated you because of my facial expression? Without even talking to me? Chances are I don’t even know you exist, because most of my RBF time is spent completely in my own head. I’m thinking, goddammit. And most likely not about you (especially since I have no idea who you even are, you self-centered bitch). Before you assume I hate you, try talking to me. If I actually hate you, trust me, you’ll know.
4. Why are you angry all the time?
Again with the assumptions! I’m actually a very content, laid back person, which is probably why my face looks half melted all the time. Other times I’m likely concentrating or deep in thought, which, again, don’t equate to angry. Want to see angry? Try interrupting me while I’m deep in thought by asking me “Are you mad?”. Yeah, that face? That one right there? That’s my angry face.
5. You’d have more friends if you didn’t look so mean.
Bitch, if I wanted more friends, I would have them. My true friends know that even when RBF has been activated, I’m not mean muggin’, I’m just existing. These friends are also the people that see me smile the most, because they make this mean MF genuinely happy. If having more friends requires putting on a fake smile and laughing at jokes that aren’t funny, then I’d rather stay a grumpy, antisocial bitch.