Growing up without a dad or father figure who is constant is probably one of the hardest things a little girl has to go through. I would know. My dad was a drug addict and although we lived in the same house for a long time we never really connected like a father and daughter would or should. He broke my heart first before any guy ever could, and this is what I learned growing up.
1. You learn to defend yourself
Usually when you have a dad, you have someone to watch your back and always show that they love you by protecting you. You know, like in movies where you see a father comforting his daughter after she just got her heart broken for the first time? Something like that. But also when you have somebody bullying you, you have nobody to trust to tell that would help you out. You learn about honoring yourself because your dad never did.
2. No birthday or Christmas gifts.
Even if they were gifts, they were broken or even stolen. It was the thought that counted. (I guess?) You learn to not expect things from people and not to depend on material things.
3. Had to find your own transportation.
You have no dependence on him whatsoever, you learn that the more you grow up. You soon learn become a pro at finding rides to places you need or want to go.
4. Not going to daddy-daughter dances in elementary school.
Not going to these dances were a huge disappointment because everybody else had a dad to take you to these and teach you how to dance. You learned to dance on your own like the blossoming flower you would soon turn out to be, with or without him.
5. He loves you, he just doesn't know how to show it.
Yes, this one is a little contradicting because of the title, but it's true. You grow up thinking that he doesn't care because he doesn't show it. Part of it is because of the drugs, but part of it is also that he does love you with all of his heart but he doesn't know how to be a dad and show he does. You learn forgiveness in it's most complicated form.
I love you dad, even though you weren't there and I wish you were