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5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Dating

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Dating is hard. I went into dating with a very naive perception of how it all works. So here are the things I wish I knew before I started dating.

1) Getting together is easy; staying together is hard

It’s all about the flirting in the beginning. I mean, come on, that’s the best part of any relationship. 

The exciting and scary pit that forms in your stomach every time you interact.The back and forth banter that goes into your conversations. The first time you have a really long conversation together and realize it’s more than just attraction. 

But everything that happens after is the real test. You both have to start communicating and stop playing the chasing game. I’ve had good transitions and messy transitions, and I can honestly say that’s the tipping point of whether you’re going to have a real honest relationship.

2) Getting over someone is f*cking hard

Before I started dating, I didn’t really have someone that I was head over heels for. And when I did start dating, I had a really hard time being rejected for the first time.

You feel like you’re on the same page, but suddenly, you find out you’re the blindsided one. It sucks. You’re left feeling so small, and it’s hard to feel your story coming to an abrupt end.

My best advice is forget about that person. Let go of the story, because they aren’t worth your time if they made you feel in any way insecure or worthless. I know it’s hard, and it’s going to take time, but when you do finally get over someone, it’s the most empowering feeling in the world. 

3) You can like more than one person

This is something I wish I knew in high school and even the beginning of college. Don’t fixate your attention on one person. 

If he or she isn’t actively pursuing you or giving the amount of attention you’re giving him or her, then that person isn’t worth being obsessed about. Date around. You close off options and opportunities when you’re focused on just one person.

4) Relationships are also hard

Man, I remember wishing someone would ask me out or pursue me growing up. As people starting dating in middle school, I wondered when that would happen. 

When it finally did happen, I realized it’s a lot of work to be in a relationship. I always thought I was going to be a relationship kind of girl, but that wasn’t the case.

I realized you have to start paying attention to his needs as well. You have to be attentive to text messages and check in a lot. You have to make time for each other,and it’s a total learning experience.

5) You’ve gotta love yourself

Last but not least, you gotta really love yourself. Be in a relationship where you’re both in a good place in your life. 

Otherwise, you’ll become dependent on each other. It’s emotionally draining to feel like you have to save someone or help that person get to a good place. It’s also emotional draining to feel dependent on someone all the time. 

You have to love yourself before getting into something serious because it’ll create some serious unhealthy relationships. So live your life and love at your own pace. Dating is exciting, but it’s also a roller coaster.

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