So, you like her. You’re starting to like her a lot.
She comes with some baggage – in the form of small human beings.
She is great. She really is, but you should know these things before getting serious with her.
1. Once you’ve met the kids, there’s no turning back.
Whether you mean to or not, you’ve made an impact on those children, good or bad. You can’t undo the memory you’ve made in their lives once you’ve “officially” met them as Mom’s Significant Other. Make that first meeting a good one. You’re now dating more than just that super fly chick you want to call your girlfriend.
2. Kids are small combinations of the best things about your girl.
If she’s got more than one kid, you’ll be able to see multiple sides of her. All of her attributes will come through her kids. Both good and bad. It’s fascinating and terrifying all at the same time. They will have her true sense of humor, sass, manners, and instincts. Pay attention.
3. You’re a role model now.
Whether you like it or not. Everything you say and do will be engraved in those tiny minds. If there is a little girl watching you, show her the way her mom should be treated and what expectations she should have for her future suitors. The chances are pretty good that her dad didn’t do that. If there is a little boy watching you, do the same. Show him the way his mom should be treated so he knows how to treat the future females in his life.
4. Be open minded.
You’re about to enter an already fully established family. Sure, she may be taking applications for the “dad like” role, but don’t forget that they got along fine without you before you came into the picture, and they will get along fine if you decide to leave. You’re a bonus to their tribe in the beginning, not a necessity.
5. If you’re not fully committed to the situation, leave.
Do not meet her kids as some kind of an experiment to see if you might be the “dad type.” You have no idea the damage you are causing to those kids and their mother. Quit while you’re ahead. You’re going to save everyone, including yourself, a lot of hurt, heartbreak, and tears.