1. I'm not a monster.
As much as you make think I am… as easy as it is to villianize me, for whatever reason, whether I was the cause of the breakup, or I didn't deal well when it ended… I'm human, and I have feelings too… and when you invalidate the fact that at one point we DID love each other, it kills me inside…
2. Because I have a hard time letting go.
Whether you say "too bad", or not… it's the fact. I didn't think I'd end up with another heart break. I invested my time and emotion into this. I was vulnerable to you when I block so many others out. I made a real connection with you, and regardless of how it ended, that didn't change for me.
3. I don't hate you.
I just hate the way you treat me now. I hate the way you talk about me. I resent the way you think of me. I wish I could magically dissolve all of those things so you can remember who I really am. The girl you once loved and cared about.
4. I'm the same person. I haven't changed.
Remember me? The girl who's giggle made you weak. The girl you admired for all of her dedication, dreams and wonder. The girl you wanted to spend your life with…The girl who knew exactly how to hold you to comfort you. The girl you used to laugh with, dream with, make plans with. The girl you shared both the good and bad sides of you with. The one who you admitted things to. The girl who loved you anyway…That's still me.
5. Maybe I'm not crazy.
Maybe it's easy to call me that because I'm the one who this ended over. I'm the one who's not in complete composure. I'm the one who's having a hard time of this… but do you know why? Why I am "crazy"?
It's because I loved you passionately. I wasn't ready to give up. I may have messed up, but I loved you enough to believe things are worth fighting for… and maybe… just maybe… I can't believe…
That the person I would have done and given anything for…so easily gave up on me….
Maybe it just hurts that if you were in my shoes, I would have treated you differently. I would have loved you anyway.
Kayla