Staying friends with your last boyfriend or girlfriend is not easy, especially if they broke up with you. However, it is possible. But it’ll be super hard to get over them unless you do these things.
- Talk to them less.
Some people say you have to break all contact completely. It can help if you don’t talk to each other for at least a couple of weeks, but longer is usually better. You definitely need some kind of contact break.During the break, write down everything that you want to tell them about because chances are that you were best friends, and there will still be so much that you want to tell them. Maybe you’ll tell them these things if they come up when you start talking again, but you will probably forget about some of these things as time goes on.
- Take time to reflect and heal.
You will need time to heal, and you should not rush that time. The time that the two of you aren’t talking is when you should do all of your reminiscing and thinking about them. This will allow you to reflect on what you would’ve done differently and what you’ve learned/gained from it.But you will have to eventually accept that you have broken up and be okay with whatever you end up being, whether it is friends or eventually you get back together again. What’s meant to be will be.
- Think of them as just a friend.
This means getting rid of the lovey dovey photos that you have on your phone. Put them on a flash drive or save them somewhere, but only keep pictures that display the friendship that you someday wish to have with them. If that means being able to put your head on their shoulder, then keep that picture. If you have pictures of the two of you together romantically, you will want that again, and it will be harder to move on.When you think about doing something, ask yourself if it’s something you would do with your other friends. If it isn’t, then maybe you should take a day to think about it before actually doing anything.
- Realize that it will take time to be friends again.
There will be moments that things are awkward or weird. You will not be able to hang out by yourselves without any awkward moments for a while. You may even have a few outbursts of emotion that you later have to explain and/or apologize for.There will be days that you are very happy to be just friends, and you will appreciate their friendship. But there will also be days that are hard and you miss what you had together.
Try to appreciate that you can be friends after all you’ve been through. It’s probably not easy for either of you.
- Be careful about what you say.
It will be tempting to make little comments when you’re still angry about something that happened during your relationship or if you get jealous, but don’t do it. It will make things awkward and difficult for both of you.If they realize that you’re a little off or upset and ask if you’re okay, you should be honest that you’re upset, but don’t give out too many details. Telling them things like, “I could love you forever” is going to scare them, and they will act weird around you.
If you want things to be normal again, you have to think about how much you tell them.
- Expose yourself to being in a relationship with someone else.
It might take a long time, but you will be ready to date again one day. Being single is okay too, but getting on dating sites or just meeting new people is good. Start off as friends and see what happens. It may turn into something and it may not.If you don’t, you will probably keep focusing on your last relationship, which will make you not to be with anyone else.
They will probably get into a new relationship too, and it will not be easy at first to see them with someone else, but remember that you will be with someone else someday, too.
Being friends with them is not easy, but it is possible. Just do your best, and if you still can’t be friends, it’s okay. Just be thankful for the time you had together and learn from it.