Watch as the single woman walks into the local coffee shop. She orders herself her usual soy vanilla latte and tips the new cute male barista an extra dollar in hopes he will put his number on the cup. As she smiles at him, she looks down and sees her named spelled with two extra Es This is a single woman in her natural habitat.
Many of us know what it's like in the limbo stages before Prince Charming comes into the picture. We passive aggressively try and get the man we have our sights set on. During this phase of our life we may talk about tall dark and handsome but what we care more about is our tall americano.
As a single women, we are all too familiar with the struggle. So I have put together a list of 7 Habits of a Highly Successful Single Lady. If this is you. You're doing alright.
1. Be Proactive- The Butt Warmer in your car is the most intimate moment you will have all day. Or all month.
2. Begin With The End in Mind- Seeing the new guy in your social circle and before even introducing yourself you've already planned your wedding, house, 3 children and a wiener dog named LaMarcus with him.
3. Put First Things First- Your heart races little bit more when you receive notifications on your phone from Netflix. What girl does not want to know a new season of Arrow is out? Thanks Netflix, you got my back.
4. Think Win-Win- You go to a particular restaurant 3 times a week because you think you have a chance with the cute waiter who always serves you. All you know about him is from the receipt where his initials are marked below "server" I will eat 50 euros until you get this hint I want to date you.
In reality, he will never get the hint he really just thinks you love the chicken euros. Hey, at least you get lunch in the process!
5. Seek First to Understand then be Understood- You're best friends keeps bragging about her new guy. You tell your friend a really hot UPS guy wants to take you out. In reality, the UPS man that asks you on a date… He's 60 with grey chest hair and a pierced ear.
You tell your friend you declined because "you're not ready to get serious". You also neglect to mention that was the first prospect in 6 months. Success.
6. Synergize- You get a little too excited when you look over to see a hot guy right beside you at the red light. You then realize he's you're 18 year old cousin and you need to go take a bath in hand sanitizer. Oops. I meant sanitize not synergize.
7. Sharpen The Saw- When you realize you secretly want to put your pet as "mcm" not even as a joke, but of course that is socially unacceptable. Eh, what the heck. You put LaMarcus as you #MCM. You go Glen CoCo.
For more of Alexis follow her on Facebook
