You meet this guy and fall in love almost immediately. He’s everything you thought you wanted – good looking, smart, funny, outgoing, and so much more. Everything seems to be going incredibly well, and you start to think maybe he really is the man of your dreams.
But then, something changes. As you start to get more serious about him, you start to question if he feels the same way. It’s like this invisible wall has gone up between the two of you, and you can’t figure out what went wrong.
He no longer goes out of his way to call you or make plans to take you out. He stops telling you what he’s thinking or how he feels about you other than a generic, almost robotic sounding “I love you.”
Unfortunately, this is when the truth hits. You’ve found yourself in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable. If you’re wondering what makes someone emotionally unavailable, here are a few signs you may have missed.
1. He never stops talking about the Ex(es) who hurt him in the past.
Everyone has baggage, but what matters the most is how they deal with it. If he seems like he’s still living in the past, he probably isn’t over it yet.
He will continue to hide behind that trauma as a reason not to move forward.
2. He completely shuts down when you ask him anything about his feelings.
You’re constantly met with “I’m fine” or “nothing’s wrong” when you know that clearly isn’t true. He says he isn’t good at talking about things, but he seems to have no problem opening up to his friends.
He just can’t seem to include you in that circle of trust.
3. He’s in denial that there’s even a problem.
If you try and talk to him, he’ll make excuses. He’ll tell you he isn’t being closed off, he’s just tired. Or busy. Or maybe it’s due to stress at work.
Whatever the excuse, you know that isn’t the real reason for his behavior.
4. What he says and what he does just don’t line up.
He claims he wants to be close to you, but he’s only willing to show it a certain way. Often this is through sex or other types of physical affection.
When it comes to other types of intimacy that you may need, he has no interest.
5. It always feels like it’s ‘his way or the highway.’
The relationship is usually centered around his routine or his needs. He’s used to being on his own, and he isn’t always flexible about changing his ways.
He isn’t willing to meet your needs, especially if that means opening up on an emotional level.
6. He’s hot and cold in ways that make Katy Perry jealous.
He constantly changes how he acts. One day he seems affectionate, and the next day he’s as distant as can be.
You never know which side of him you’re going to get, and it drives you crazy.
7. Distance is like, his middle name.
He starts to get silent and disconnected out of nowhere. He checks out when you try and talk to him, and he stops putting forth much of an effort.
You start to feel like he isn’t interested in anything you have to say. At this point, you’re left feeling isolated, alone, and depressed. You want so bad to get through to him, to make him understand. You have so many emotions you want to share, but instead you start to shut down as well.
Your heart slowly starts to break and you’re left alone with all your feelings… and someone who will never be able to return them.
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