"Most men claim to desire driven, independent, and confident women. Yet, when confronted with such a creature, reverence often evolves into recent…" ~Tiffany Madison
It's easy to think that you want a girl who seems to have it all together. She has a good job, knows what she wants, has goals and isn't afraid to go after them. It's easy to imagine what that kind of relationship will be like.
You will meet her and you will be so happy and enthralled in her independence that it will all just work so perfectly because she seems like she's already got it figured out.
Well while you're not entirely wrong, you have a long way to go before you get there. See, the thing about independent women is there is a reason they are that way.
They have worked damn hard for what they have, so before they are willing to let someone come in an potentially enter into plans they have going for themselves you are gonna have to let her adjust from a "me" to a "we" situation.
Here are a few things to take into consideration when you are falling for an alpha female:
1. Just because we CAN do it on our own, doesn't mean we want too. We would love nothing more than someone to be able to depend on, to know we have a partner.
That’s so much easier said than done. We want to trust someone enough to make sure the mortgage is paid, and the kids are picked up from school, but we are so used to doing it on our own we might not recognize your ability to do so. Don't be afraid to remind us.
2. We have our own routine. From paying bills to cleaning house, we have a process for it. We know when and what needs to be done, and we probably have a specific way we like it done. If she goes to the grocery store on payday and you want to go, let her know. We don't mean to be distant or inconsiderate, but we have become creatures of habit and might need some help creating new ones. We have done a pretty good job of packing our schedule full with things like work, or classes, or hobbies that you might not know where you fit in, and to be honest we probably wont know right away either, but if we know its right, we will find a way. We have had tons of practice prioritizing.
3. Be Patient. It takes time to adjust for us; we are not used to having help. It might have been a while since we needed to send a courteous text to let someone know we will be home late. We are not used to constant communication at all actually. We don't expect hourly text check-ins, and that might (will) actually push us away. It might be a process, but the end goal is totally worth it.
4. Don't look at us like a challenge. We don't want to be broke in, we are proud of the life we have built, and while we would love nothing more than to share it with you, please don't ever expect us to be completely reliant on you. It's not our nature, and it's a huge turn off.
5. Don't be lazy. This is probably the biggest turn off. We work hard, and we are not looking for another project.
If you want the benefits of having a self-sufficient woman, you need to bring the same benefits to the table.
We want to support you, but the moment you start to take advantage of it we will send you right back to where you came from.
6. Let us spoil you! We work hard, to play harder. We will love you and want to give you everything we have given ourselves and more.
Let us take you on dates, let us cook you dinner and buy you and your boys’ tickets to the big game. We want to do these things for you!
7. Don't be intimidated. We don't need you, but we want you. Once we are in this, we are all in. We will take all of the effort we have put into building ourselves up, times it by 2, and put all of that into you.
If you ever ask us to play dumb, or pretend to be any less of the woman we have fought so hard to become we will bee line it right back to the single life.
We cant make ourselves smaller to make you feel better, and you should never expect us too.
8. We are worth it. We can be difficult. We know that. We don't mean to be stubborn, but inherently we are.
We have proven time and time again that when we want something, we get it.
You are no exception to that rule. If you are willing to give us time to adjust to your love, we will give it back to you a million times over.