“My brain power depends on my retained mastery of analyzing in detail what’s happening in my world and in my mind and body. I must continue to practice to retain my constructive and analytic powers. The goal is to be a master of my environment.” —Michael Merzenich
I over-analyze and I get it.
“Okay.. he texted me to come over..but he doesn’t seem excited about it? If he was excited, don’t you think he would have put a smiley face or something? Should I go or not? Well, never mind, I’ll just go over and see what happens.”
Every guy I’ve dated has said the same four simple words…
You think too much.
Yes, I understand.
I can feel myself doing it, but for whatever reason, I can’t seem to stop the words that fall out of my mouth, nor the thoughts that enter-unwillingly- swirl into my head.
From one over-thinker to the next, I’m truthfully sorry you have to deal with girls like us, but if you’re stuck with us..there are a few things you should know.
Our brains are amazing, but they are not always correct. Once upon a time, when our ancestors heard the grass rustle and concluded there to be a lion when, in fact, it was just the wind, the mistake did not cause them much harm.
On the contrary, assuming a sound in the forest is just the wind and being wrong could have been a deadly mistake to make. This simple equation means our brains have evolved to produce false patterns for safety’s sake.
Seeing patterns also makes us assign meaning to them, which, in turn, affects our preferences. This can generate weird biases, based on phantom patterns, which makes us miss out on opportunities.
For example, “I never date Gemini, men with beard??? etc. Knowing what you want is great, but we should never stop evaluating our convictions because the “wrong person??? might come along and be the right one.
We like order and predictability because it makes us feel secure and safe.
Imagine that a day before your romantic getaway, your significant other suddenly cancels because of a crisis at work. You are shaved, moisturized, packed and ready to go. How could this have happened? Has the bastard stopped loving me? Am I no longer important?
We’re freaking intelligent.
We can somehow piece together moments of your life without you even telling us.
He gets done with work at 5, and doesn’t get home until approximately 5:45. He only lives 20 minutes from his work, and every time you see him he isn’t hungry, meaning he eats from 5 to 5:20…Which leaves him enough time to walk to his car. Then he drives home!
You might call that stalking, we call it good detective work.
Hmm…Do you see my point?
I can feel the sweat dripping onto the keyboard as you poor guys read this.
Okay in all seriousness…
Don’t label us as weirdos.
Just know we care.
No we aren’t going to stalk your life, or harass you if your schedule doesn’t line up like it did the day before.
We’ll just think it.
We’ll analyze it.
We’ll stress over it.
I can’t count how many relationships have failed because I made up my own scenario of what a guy was thinking based on his demeanor..texts…body language and tone of the voice.
Sometimes I just want to smack myself because I find myself repeatedly analyzing every move my boyfriend will make. It’s ridiculous, and I’m aware of this.
It’s not because I’m crazy or obsessive, but because I can’t help but wonder if I did something to make you upset, or you’re not telling me the truth to avoid hurting my feelings.
Most of the time girls that are over analyzers are the ones that were hurt/lied to in the past.
Know that I’m working on it and truthfully only need support and reassurance. Isn’t it good to know your flaws?
It’ll get better with time, but there are still moments I’ll slip up and my mind will race.
When it’s all said and done, you have an over-analyzing girlfriend, but she over analyzes so much because she loves you so much.
At the end of the day, that’s the bottom line.
And to a guy who has one of us as a girlfriend , thanks for loving our anxious nature despite the constant questions and accusations .
You’re one in a million!
