For months, I'd been dealing with depression. My friends and family had no idea what I was going through, but it wasn't their fault.
I never opened up or talked about it. I convinced myself I was strong enough to handle this without help from anyone else.
I've never been so wrong in my entire life.
Months went by, and things just got worse. I'd given up completely and decided that living with this pain wasn't worth it.
One year ago today, I attempted to end my life. I purposely overdosed, hoping it would take me out of this world and out of this dark hole I'd been living in for so long.
My suicide attempt failed, and one year later, I couldn't be more thankful.
So this is a letter to those who stood by my side throughout my recovery:
During my depression, I felt alone. I felt like I had nobody in my life anymore, that everyone had drifted away from me. But the truth is, I drifted away from you.
I didn't ask for help, I didn't think I needed it. I faked my happiness for you, because I didn't want to share my burdens with you.
The night of my overdose is when I realized just how much support I had in my life.
I was in the hospital for a week. You visited, you called, you prayed, because you cared, and I see that now.
I thought I'd lost everybody. I thought that because of my break down, everyone I cared about would be pushed away. But it was the complete opposite.
Everyone in my life finally came into focus, and I was able to see you and feel your love. It was one of the most amazing realizations I've ever come to.
When I was released from the hospital, the support became even stronger.
You were the reason I came back to life. You helped me through my recovery and stood by my side the entire time. And for that, I will be forever grateful.
Losing yourself is tragic, and it's so hard to find yourself once that happens. But I found myself through you. You reminded me of who I was and how strong I was. You pushed me and cheered for me as I put my life back together.
Hitting rock bottom almost ended my life, but your love and support saved my life.
