Some people go thru a part in life of feeling alone and some don’t, but for the ones that have felt nothing but loneliness I know it all too well. Domestic violence is not any joke when it comes too physical or emotional abuse.
Trying to understand an abuser isn’t a cake walk and probably isn’t even possible, but we sure do try don’t we, try to be there to help and fix what is wrong with them. Women who have found themselves in an abusive relationship often feel alone, ashamed, worthless; as if everything is there fault for the actions there abuser does to them and feels hopeless. Abusers will control you in any way possible and always on your case every minute of the day always asking you where are you at? What are you doing? Who you talking to? Why you taken forever? Ect.
This can be so frustrating that you just want to walk away from all of it why do you want to live your life on egg shells worried about how long you take or if you so happen not to text or answer the phone fast enough, because if you don’t it could lead to a much worse punishment just because to them you did wrong and didn’t do as they wish. This kind of act is hard to have family or friends around due to the abuser always wanting to be with you and you never having a normal lunch date with a friend or evening visiting family for the holidays. This is where feeling alone falls into play where the abuser starts to isolate you from friends and family keeping you to himself alone and having to just count on him. It’s not your fault if the ones that were there for you aren’t there anymore they just don’t understand. But for the ones those are still around and still show they love you no matter what that’s where you get your strength and when the time is right and it’s up to you to pack up and walk away.
Some people think it’s easy to just walk away there is more that comes along with it. If you were to leave your abuser will the abuse just get worse go find you threaten you and everyone you know to get to you. Financial not everyone has the money to just up and go then if you have kids child care cost and it’s not easy to just be moving your family around and around. It’s hard and a lot of work and takes time to get to the point where you can just leave. You will get tired of it and you will have the courage to leave your worth it just remembers if someone loved you they wouldn’t do anything to hurt you in any way. Stop feeling sorry for yourself wipe those tears off your face and find the time to leave and never go back everything takes time but if you do leave and cut all ties no contact change your number go on with your life and if you have kids with an abuser I am sorry but he don’t care about the kids if he did he would of changed a long time ago.
Becoming depressed feeling alone and just really thinking to yourself that your worthless that is no way to live and that’s not you the abuser will make you feel this way he did this to you but you know what by taken him out he picture you can very quickly gain so much that is control of your own life again. By taken away the abusers control takes away everything from him he will lose his head when you finally take back control because that’s what he needs is to control you but when you gain that back it will be so much easier to even look at him with so much disgust you won’t go back. Maybe he will promise you he will change and do different this time around but don’t go back let him figure himself out before being together again and if he can’t makes an excuse we can do it together I am sorry but no you find yourself on your own time just like he can promise you he will change well actions speak louder than words.
Staying away is the best things for you to do no contact as well it don’t only give you time to think about everything you have been thru but it gives you time to find yourself again. Be around loved ones friends and family that care about your wellbeing get help talk to someone about all your trauma sometimes just talking to someone and actually hearing everything your been thru will help you see and realize What was I doing with him for so long? Look at everything you have been thru and you know what you can beat this you are better than this because you are so worth it underneath all of the pain and scars you are a survivor. Don’t ever let no man lay a hand on you don’t ever let him get into you head to make you feel belittled because in the end the abuser is the one alone and miserable in his own disgusted world. Shine for a better life and a happy one, be the one out there telling your story to help other women that are in such a situation give them courage and love we are all humans and we are all capable of real love with no pain or sorrow.