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After Birth: 5 Things They Neglect to Tell You

The American education system has failed people in a lot of ways. I’d get into it, but we’d be here forever. In this post, I want to talk about one specific thing I feel education should focus on but doesn’t: labor and delivery, and what happens after it.

Some of you might think it isn’t a teacher’s job to talk about these things. To you I say: the sooner the education begins, the better. Teen pregnancy rates may have decreased over the years but teen pregnancies do still happen. These young girls deserve to know what to expect when they’re no longer expecting.

And so do adult women. Yet we can’t even rely on anyone to tell us what happens once the laboring is over. Not even doctors! I can’t tell you how many women I’ve talked to that were never told some pretty standard things about what could happen after birth. Things like…

After the baby is born, your body will crash. A cocktail of hormones is running through your body during labor and delivery. Once the baby is born and your body is no longer riding that high, there’s no telling what can happen. I couldn’t hold my son for a couple of hours after I gave birth because I was shaking so badly, I was afraid I would drop him. Other women have mentioned how they felt extremely emotional afterwards and would cry at every little thing. It happens differently for every woman but it’s definitely a thing that happens and it sucks.

You will bleed after delivery. A lot. For days. Weeks, even. After the baby is born and the placenta has been delivered, there’s a gaping hole where that organ once was. Of course you’re going to bleed! That’s (one of the reasons) why it’s so important for women to have sufficient time to heal. Now, there is such a thing as bleeding too much. Be watchful of how heavy your bleeding is and how big the clots are. Contact your doctor if you have concerns.

Sex will hurt. Maybe for a long time. Things will be tender “down there” for a while. You’ve literally just shoved something the size of a watermelon out of you, what else do you expect? Generally your doctor will give you the “all clear” for sex six to eight weeks after birth. Keep in mind though, sex might feel different, even painful for a lot longer than that. It was a full year for me before sex felt normal again.

Your boobs will hurt. Whether you opt to breastfeed or not, your boobs will ache. Imagine how a cow might feel if it’s not milked regularly.

One morning, a handful of days after giving birth, you’re going to be awake at 4am and suddenly, you’re going to start crying, for no reason at all. Or maybe you won’t. I did. I was sitting on the couch after my son had woken me up for the fifth time in an hour and I just. Started crying. And I kept crying until my boyfriend came out to see why I was crying. I later asked my doctor what had happened and she said it’s another thing that can happen once the hormones start to subside. Exhaustion was also a big part of it, and worry and fear and this overwhelming sense of “What the hell have I gotten myself into?”

Which brings us to this: You will feel sad. And that’s okay! Having a baby, whether you planned for it or not, is a huge life change and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and scared. However, if the sadness feels all encompassing, or you start to feel things like guilt and worthlessness and you just don’t feel like you’re bonding with your child…please seek help. Here is some important information on post-partum depression.

Motherhood is scary enough. We don’t need unexpected things happening to make us feel even more stressed out. So prepare yourself: before the baby is born, ask your doctor questions about what to expect after birth. Do your own research on the Internet (but keep in mind not everything you read on the Internet is accurate). Ask your mother and your grandmother about their experiences. Go to childbirth classes and drag your significant other along so they too know these things. After all, they did this to you, they should be the ones to take care of you afterwards.