Why do many of us spend years battling with our insecurities and expecting warmth in places elsewhere than within?
I know that feeling when nothing seems to feel right. The feeling where vulnerability just seems to exhale out of your mouth with every breath taken and you feel yourself crumbling from within, waiting for someone to bring some warmth into the darkness because you just feel hopeless.
Impatiently waiting for sunset because you feel as if time just keeps passing and nothing seems to be changing.
Your fingertips feeling as cold as ice and the numbness spreading as if it’s the normality of your inner most thoughts reflecting outwards.
Wondering why you cannot seem to find one thing worth remembering about yourself or something worth sharing because you cannot seem to accept the beauty that others so often refer to when in your presence but rather wondering whether or not they are really seeing the person you think you are.
What’s wrong with seeing the person they see? What makes the presence of someone warm so frightening that we cannot seem to start our own fire but make others believe that the fire never died?
Sometimes we become so consumed with our own thoughts that we tend to forget how one negative thought impacts the way we view ourselves which ends up reflecting on the way we view others.
Opinions become irrelevant and we become consumed with what we think defines us rather than growing into who we wish to be. We all know where we belong, we just cannot seem to find our way there and the biggest obstacle is ourselves.
We often have the strength to fight others and forget the biggest challenge which is fighting ourselves. We think that we are so strong just because we won an argument or a fight against someone but often forget that we are constantly in battle with ourselves.
Who would you be if you finally fought your own battle against your own insecurities? Against the demons within? Who would be staring back at you in the mirror?
We find it easier to challenge others because we are not ready to face ourselves. It is easier to find blame elsewhere than face our realities because we are scared of being broken.
Nobody said that broken is always negative. Sometimes you find yourself in the midst of your brokenness merely because you had the courage to allow yourself to become broken.
We become so consumed with the thought of depending on others for warmth regardless of whether or not they deserve to add to our fire.
We allow them in with all of their additional traits and it enables them to start their own fire. Sometimes it creates a bigger flame within and sometimes it can make the entire flame die out all at once.
Nobody else has the power to make you happy except yourself. If you have to depend on others for warmth or happiness then you will never be at peace.
Peace starts from within and so does happiness. The only reason someone else’s happiness could possibly influence yours is because they found themselves and you have not.
Love yourself enough to know the difference between what you want and what you are worth. Never let your flame die and never allow someone else to burn out the warmth that you have created.
Nobody can make a house a home except yourself because at the end of the day, you are the only tenant left.
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