"I love you" is the hardest thing to say to someone for the first time. It requires an immense amount of vulnerability and uncertainty.
Summoning enough courage to say those three words of eight letters takes days, weeks, or even months
But one of the easiest things to say to someone?
"I hate you."
"I hate you" can be used in a number of ways.
You're friend makes you a little angry or does something completely typical. "Ha-ha-ha, I hate you."
You're mom doesn't let you go out with your friends because you're grounded. "You're the worst! I hate you!"
You're boyfriend tickles you. "Stop it! I hate you!"
But do you actually hate your friend or your mom or your boyfriend? No, you don't. It's just something to say.
What you really mean when you say "I hate you" like that is "I'm annoyed with you right now but I'm still keeping you around" or "I'm pissed at you and need to be away from you right now."
Very rarely to we actually hate people.
"Hate" has some pretty intense synonyms: abhor, despise, loathe, animosity, hostility, venom, resentment. And it should. It has a pretty strong meaning to it.
To really, truly hate someone is to dislike them so much that you want them out of your life forever. To never have to see, hear, deal with them again.
So when you say you hate your mom or your boyfriend or your friend, do you really want to never see them again and have them out of your life? No, you don't.
Even though it means the exact opposite, "love" also has an intense meaning. But it's so much harder to say "I love you" out loud to someone.
There's also a strong belief that there's a very fine line between love and hate, which is totally true.
Think about it: Both are intense feelings, positive or negative, towards someone else.
It's so much easier to say "I hate you" because when most people have a lot of thoughts and feelings jumbled up in their head that they can't sort out, they panic.
And what does instinct tell us about situations dealing with panic, or danger? The fight or flight response.
And when it comes to feelings, most people like to fly.
So instead of "I love you" (the fight response) coming out, "I hate you" (the flight response) takes its place.
So the next to time you want to say "I love you," are you going to fight? Or fly?
