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And Somehow, Even Though You Destroyed Her, She Still Loves You

She never thought of herself as a weak individual.

She grew up in a family of boys who taught her that if you can’t keep up, you get left behind. So she kept up. She held her own and learned early on that if you get hurt you rub dirt in the wound and keep going.

She had to learn how to be tough.

But then you came along.

She’s not broken, but she’s been hurt. She’s been through a lot of shit in her life, but it taught her how to be a stronger person. She’ll always admit to her flaws and isn’t afraid to own up to her shortcomings. She’s hard as nails.

The things that come out of her mouth would make a sailor blush. She can drink any man twice her size under the table. She has a strong right hook and isn’t afraid to use it.

She doesn’t let people in. Intimacy is a foreign concept to her. She despises PDA and any mention of feelings makes her skin crawl, she just hates emotions in general.

…But then you came along

Never in her life had she encountered someone like you. You affected her in a way that’s just plain indescribable. At first, she was intrigued, then she became skeptical, then infatuated.

She knew that she should keep her guard up as she always has, but with you she just couldn’t. She felt instantly comfortable in your arms.

There was an undeniable chemistry between you, she let you in and trusted you with every fiber of her being.

Every minute of every day she wanted to be with you, but she couldn’t admit that to you or to herself. Being vulnerable is not something that she’s accustomed to. She tried her hardest to push you away, but just couldn’t do it.

You were her drug, her weakness, her undoing.

Then you changed.

You got her to tear down her walls and then you left her with endless questions.

Why aren’t you answering her calls? Who are these people you spend time with? Where are you when you leave for days? Most importantly, why would you lie?

Then she changed.

She became weak, and pathetic excuse of a girl. Her brothers would cringe if they saw who she became when she was with you. She was once a strong, independent, smart woman.

She went against everything that she believed in for you. She threw away her soul for you. She knows that she’s smarter than that. She knows what abuse is, what manipulation is.

She can point it out in anyone else who is experiencing it. With you and her, she had her blinders up. She wouldn’t allow herself to see what was happening in her own world.

You destroyed her.

You fought. Bad. You were fire and gasoline. Ironically, she felt comfort in these fights. She learned to throw punches first and talk later.

She fights dirty, but you fought dirtier. She knows how to cut someone with words, but you have a unique skill of going even deeper. She goes until someone falls, until they crumble, until they can’t take anymore.

Somehow she was the one who always crumbled first. She tried to move on. You couldn’t allow that though. You need the power, the control, the upper hand.

You have single handedly crushed her and you couldn’t care less. She’s a different person because of you. You have destroyed her spirit and left her in a puddle of despair and hopelessness while you’re out there claiming your next victim.

But the truly sad part is, she still loves you.