The day you left us, you didn’t leave us behind. You left us ahead, and I’ll tell you why.
Because the day you left us, I thought my life was over. It hurt so much because I thought I loved you. But more importantly, I thought you loved us.
The day you left us, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. 18, pregnant, and clueless. For awhile I thought I needed you. I thought that I couldn’t raise a human being by myself. I had no faith in my strength. But, when your communication got weaker, I got stronger.
I started to realize that I didn’t need you and neither did he.
When your communication stopped completely, I had already given up on you. Giving up was the hardest decision of my life. Not because it was a decision I was making for myself, but for the life I was carrying inside of me.
How do you decide when to cut an (incompetent) father out of your child’s life? For me, it was when you decided you no longer wanted to be a father, and proved so with your actions.
As I went through the remainder of my child bearing journey alone, I got stronger. Every day I didn’t hear from you, I got stronger.
But the day I became aware of the strength I had acquired without you, was the day our son was born. That day, he became MY son. When I held MY son for the first time, I knew, in that moment, we were all we needed.
Of course that day you were nowhere to be found and quite frankly, I didn’t even notice. That day, I met the true love of my life and his name is Emmett. That day, I created an unbreakable bond with MY son. Since then, we’ve been unstoppable.
And all without you.
The day you left, you gave me the opportunity to find myself. You gave me the opportunity to be the one he admires. You gave me the opportunity to take credit for all of his accomplishments. You gave me the opportunity to receive every ounce of his love and laughter. He won’t ever thank you for anything, but he will thank me for it all.
You gave me the the most extraordinary bond with MY son. And for that I thank you.
The day you left, you gave my son the opportunity to grow up without you. For the longest time, I didn’t think that was something to be thankful for. But now, he won’t have the chance to be broken by you.
He won’t have the chance to learn from you. He won’t have the chance to grow up and be like you. You gave him the opportunity to be a million times the man you ever dreamed of being. And for that I thank you.
The day you left, you gave us the opportunity to prosper in life far past your ability.
The day you left, you did not leave us behind, you left us ahead. Because without you, we can now conquer the world.
“…and then there were two.”