The struggle to not be offended on Mother’s Day is always a big one for me. Being born with MRKH (google with caution) prevents me from ever being a natural mother. I can’t get pregnant because I was born with missing parts of my reproductive system. The amount of pieces missing is different with every woman who has this syndrome, but i won’t go into the details of my own diagnosis. Maybe in a future post.
I know, I know, I am only 22 and this is not something that is actually on my radar, but I can’t help but remember that I may never be celebrated on Mother’s Day.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my own Mother and I am grateful to be able to celebrate her, but the struggle between celebrating her and dealing with my own grief is overwhelming.
I know that for various reasons, aside from my own condition, there are many women out there that have similar internal struggles on Mother’s Day, so I would like to pass on some ways that we can deal with this.
First, let it out. Holding this in will make it much worse. Find a friend that you can talk to and express everything you are feeling. In my experience, for this particular situation, some of my male friends have been the best people for this.
Second, make sure you also spend some time by yourself. The shower is an awesome place to let out emotions. No one can hear you and you are probably alone in there. When you are done, just relax and do something restful for your soul.
Third, Grieve if you need to. Grieving is not only okay, but it is important. Take the time (even aside from Mother’s Day season) to grieve over the things you feel you’ve lost. For me, I go through periods where I feel the need to grieve over my loss of choice. I don’t have the choice to get pregnant or have kids on my own, and I miss out on all the fun of surprising people or making someone a father. If I didn’t take time to grieve and express my feeling of loss, I don’t know if I would feel encouraged enough to move past it and see other exciting opportunities in my life.
Fourth and finally, even if this is hard to read, remember that there are other mothers that can and should be appreciated by you today. Maybe that is your own mother, grandmother, a motherly figure in your life, or a mother friend. These people work hard and they deserve recognition, not because they became a mother at some point in their life, but for all the hard work they have put in since then.
Appreciate them and appreciate yourself this weekend, and remember that there is always more to look forward too.