Dear Baby Mama,
(TRAPPED) Part II
I was young.
I was confused.
I do believe somewhere between those two…
I fell in love with you.
I was blindsided by how you chose to bring our son into the world.
Instead of for joy he was used as your own personal tool.
You claimed you were on birth control, but I guess that was never a form of control for you.
I trusted you to make the right decisions.
You knew what you were doing.
You didn’t care where it would lead us.
You expected me to pick up the pieces and make them whole again.
FUCK IT.
I lied.
I never loved you.
But I do love our son.
That is one thing you never knew how to do.
You were never ready to be a mom.
You still have a lot of growing up to do.
I have never met a person as selfish as you.
Don’t you get it?
He loves you.
He needs you.
And all you see is you.
I hope that one day you grow.
I hope that the void you are trying to fill gets filled.
And not by temporary thrills (men) that will pay your bills.
I hope that one day you choose to live for him and not for you.
Since day one I have done nothing but strive for my son.
Where were you?
Worried about whether your breasts needed to be a cup A to a cup C.
So caught up in all of your insecurities that you don’t see the biggest one of them all.
Nothing and no one will ever make you happy.
Because you are not happy with yourself.
You have become so bitter and closed off.
That rock on your finger really is shiny.
But if it was love than why did you run?
I don’t think you are fit to be a mom.
Your love is so temporary and at times you don’t have any.
You are so unstable that it scares me.
Don’t get me wrong.
I don’t care about you.
But I do care about my son.
He needs someone who is loving at all times and unconditionally.
Not when you feel it is comfortable to smoother him in some love.
He needs stability in his life.
He needs to not see different guys at different times in the night.
He needs to be a kid.
Not a tool for you to get the things that you want.
Pathetic.
Desperate.
Insecure.
Selfish.
Is what you are.
I think you were hurt.
I know you need help.
You have always been terrified of responsibilities that it led you to me.
I screwed up the minute I decided to let you be my “roommate”
You see responsibilities never scared me.
But the thought that a person like you could do the damage that you have caused.
Forever terrifies me.
Who you were.
She is gone.
Now all that is left is is a crazy, unstable, selfish so called “mom”
You are like a ticking time bomb.
I never know what to expect with you.
All I know is that I want no contact with you.
I just want my son.