Even in my one bedroom apartment, I have a roommate.
It never leaves me alone, always whispering in my ear all the things I never want to hear. It tells me I'm nothing. I never asked it to come into my life, but it's here anyway. I desperately want it to go away but it never does.
I live with depression.
It's the demon inside my head. The one that tells me I'm not enough, that I never will be. It tells me I'm not capable of being loved, that I'm better off alone, because I'm damaged goods. It reminds me that I'm not capable of fully loving someone the way they deserve to be loved.
My depression tells me on a daily basis how I'm worthless, and some days I just want to be left alone. I want to curl up in a ball and cry, because I will truly believe I am incapable of being loved. I believe I am meant to be alone.
And on the days that I'm happier, it still follows me wherever I go. Even when I go as far as I can, driving to no where in particular or walking aimlessly around the mall, desperate for a distraction, it's still there in the back of my mind.
The only escape I find is when my better half holds me in his arms and tells me it's okay. He's there for me. We battle my depression together. And he loves me even when we aren't successful.
It's us against 'it' and we'll keep at it until it leaves me alone for good.
