She helps take care of her parents. She gets shit done at work. But she still drunk dials her boyfriend at midnight 12 times when he has to wake up at 4 am.
I am an alcoholic. And shit sucks.
So you say, put down the drink: I'd love to. How?
I just counted the number of wine bottles in my room and found it very suspicious that I only found 3. I only buy in doubles so where is the 4th? Very suspicious….
I will talk the talk and say I'll go to an AA meeting, I'll pray about it for sure, but the reality is I'm still here. Drinking.
For any alcoholic, you know what I mean. For any non-alcoholic, you must be frustrated. It's OK. There isn't much you can do. Just be there when it's all over.
This brings me to a place of vulnerability. You can leave me. You can encourage me. You can support me. You can abandon me. This is all part of the package.
There are a million apologies to go with it. I'm so sorry I drunk dialed you at 12 am. I am so sorry I called your dog a rat. I am so sorry I lied about being sick. I am sorry.
Let my life to you be an apology.
No. LITERALLY. I am sorry. A perfect excuse for a human being.
I just hope one day you will be able to forgive me and understand the constant battle I am in with myself.
I know you probably think this is something I can control, something I could just snap out of… but it's not that simple.
But what is simple is that I am so sorry. And I forever will be.
Until I fight my way out of this, please don't leave me.
