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Finding the “Perfect Man” is Like Shopping for the Perfect Pair of Shoes

If there’s one thing that Carrie Bradshaw knows, it’s shoes.  However, how different are men from shoes really?

I for one can testify that women love shoes.  For me personally, they give me this extra confidence boost that emanates as I walk down the hall or a street.  It’s a relationship that I wouldn’t trade for the world.  And maybe that’s because shoes can’t hurt you like a man can….or can they?

Shoes come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and prices.  It’s not easy to find the right pair, but as you’re shopping one just seems to catch your eye.  Similarly to when you make an instant connection with an attractive man across the bar.  You don’t know what your future will hold, but it doesn’t hurt to just try it on.

And that’s how you learn, you “try on” your chemistry or relationship with this person.  Like with shoes, the start of a relationship can be challenging and takes some breaking in.  But in time, it can turn out to be a great experience.

However, I find that usually in the dating world, there are more negatives.  I’ve never really quite realized how these negative aspects can correlate to shoes.  Some pairs can cause pain, others cause blisters, and some you honestly just can’t even walk in.

Just like with men, we go through the same trial and error period that we do with our new shoes.  They may not be perfect in the beginning but we allow ourselves to continue on, hoping it’ll get better with wear.  We “break in” the relationship like we would a shoe.  However, with shoes the pain doesn’t always go away yet we continue to wear them anyways, even though we know they’re bad for us.

From this logic, comparing men to shoes, women have learned to suffer, because pain is beauty right?  But since when did this motto start applying to the men we date?

Dating shouldn’t be this painful taxing experience that we force ourselves to go through just because it makes us look better.  We probably shouldn’t even be putting ourselves through the pain of shoes either.  But who am I kidding, I’d rather suck it up and be in pain wearing a pair of heels than be comfortable in some plain flats.

So what does that say about me and my dating habits?  Do I stay in relationships because I’d rather have someone than be alone even though they aren’t the perfect fit?

This theory isn’t just filled with the negative aspects though.  There are other factors to consider as well.  For example, just because one shoe is more expensive than the other doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a better quality shoe.  Often times we find the more expensive pairs take more time to break in.  Sometimes that comfy pair of shoes that you once overlooked soon become your favorite. Like a guy best friend that you had never considered dating before.  Just because you have this preconceived idea of where you two stand doesn’t necessarily mean that’s where you two belong.

Labels aren’t everything.  Who cares what a man’s salary is, or what their job is.  Honestly, if it’s a good fit, and you love them, then be with that person.

Lastly, like when shopping for shoes, hours of time will be spent and the pair you eventually buy may last for a few weeks or a few years.  So a good man, like a good pair of shoes, is hard to find.  It will take time, but eventually you two will find each other.  And eventually, on one of those rare occasions, you’ll find that one pair that’s the perfect fit.

So ladies, with that said, keep  “shopping!”

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