“You’re crazy if you think just half your love, could ever please me.”
-Sara Evans
It’s crazy, right? To think that we could give so much to someone only for it to come back null and void. To love someone fully without reciprocation is without a doubt, one of the most painful things you will ever have to endure in this lifetime.
I hope with all my heart, that you never have to experience this, because the results are often devastating.
So where do we go from here?
I stood there and watched you time and time again, choose everything else but me. I watched as you cared for her in a way that I could only dream about. I ignored the remarks from everyone that told me to let go. I even tried to justify your actions with empty claims, hoping my reward would ultimately get me what I truly wanted… which was always you.
It has always been you, but it has never been me. I held my arms open and my hopes high for the day you realized just how much I cared about you, and just what kind of mistake you were making. I guess it was obvious to everyone except me. I was blind to the fact that it would in fact, never be me.
No matter how much I wanted to be the one for you, you never saw me as anything more than company for the nights you felt less than whole.
I lay here in your arms, knowing that I’ll probably never see or speak to you again.. and it kills me. This whole time, I’ve waited for you to wake up and see that I could be everything you wanted and more. But the truth remains… I’m still not good enough for you.
I never will be.
I used to think that being more successful, being prettier, being thinner would help you to see what I shouldn’t have to show you in the first place.
No matter how good I am.. I will never be good enough for you. Although it has taken numerous heartbreak for me to realize, I refuse to hold on anymore. I will no longer look back on your empty promises, belittling comments, and sense of entitlement as an issue that I need to fix within myself. The problem is obviously you.
I may not be good enough for you, but I have always been good enough for me. And although you couldn’t see it, someone else will.
Signed,
More than Good Enough
