A year or two after my parents separated, I began to imagine myself at my dad’s funeral. In my vision, I walk to a podium to talk about him. Thing is, I don’t say much except the awful truth: “I didn’t have a relationship with my dad.”
I saw myself recounting the good memories we shared, which were slim to none. I saw myself crying hysterically at his coffin, because I would. I saw myself living the rest of my life with regret, all because I didn’t forgive him for what he did.
But love conquers all, even anger and disappointment. I no longer wanted to be a stranger to him. I wanted to be his daughter.
It was upon this realization that, in the core of my soul, the Bird of Forgiveness was born.
The Bird of Forgiveness is a beautiful, strong, and loving creature. It lived within me, flying in and out when it pleased. But whenever I saw my dad, the Bird of Forgiveness would perch on my heart and sing its song.
I began to work on my relationship with my dad, and naturally he did his part. We talked more, either in person, over the phone, or via text. We went on lunch or dinner dates, something we had never done before.
It didn’t take long for us to have our inside jokes, the kind that are so funny you cry out of pure happiness.
I introduced him to Breaking Bad, and we constantly gushed over the show (still do actually). I treated him to a showing of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Both of us still have our movie tickets. My dad told me he’ll always remember that day.
We’ve gone on road trips. We’ve painted his house. We’ve been to a local bar to have a few drinks.
Not a day goes by where I don’t think about how far my dad and I have come. But what’s constantly on my mind is what will happen next: in two months time, my dad will walk me down the aisle.
I’ll have my arm interlocked with his, and he’ll give me to the love of my life. My dad and I will dance to “Over the Rainbow,” because dreams do come true, even a daughter’s dream of having a relationship with her dad.
The Bird of Forgiveness is a beautiful, strong, and loving creature.
If you have a stone in your heart, like I once did, I hope that it transforms into the Bird of Forgiveness. If you feel noticeably different one day, as if you’re lighter, that’s the Bird of Forgiveness singing.
Listen. It’ll be a song to remember.
