A little back story—I had two best friends in middle school. We were three peas in a pod. The three of us had gorgeous locks of hair. So as middle schoolers do, we started experimenting; with scissors. We figured we could trim each other’s hair, and give each other layers. The other two girls always did such a good job on each other and received so many compliments from other girls at our school. So then I became bold one night when we had a sleep over, and I asked them to do the same thing to my hair. What could go wrong? They had done each other’s for weeks now. Instantaneously, I started hearing laughing and the words, “you did it wrong.” When it was all done my hair was so short and nothing what I had asked them to do for me. In that distinct moment, I remember I had a lump in my throat and felt so betrayed. But because I thought we were still the three peas in a pod, I played it off like I loved it. On this day I look back, and realize I would never pursue a friendship if it wasn’t mutual.
I had a friend tell me recently that he thought I was really great at keeping friendships when it seems that others have lost the appreciation for friendships. That comment melted my heart because I never thought of myself as someone who is good at friendships. It got me thinking. I am good at keeping friendships; friendships with those that want it just as badly as I do. I learned a while ago that I would only put in an effort if they too, showed an effort. Good friends, truly good friends do not come along too often. They really are rare treasures. Remember to embrace the ones that do stick around. You’re doing life with these dear people.
Find the friends that view your friendship as a tie. Not something that is dispensable. There is nothing sweeter than a beautiful friendship that turns into a bond. A bond does not disappear, it needs to be treated as the delicate seed that it is, to grow healthy and to truly flourish in this bleak world. I have been so blessed recently finding some incredible girls who really do care. They care about: the small things, the big things, the silly things, the hurtful things, the life changing things. They care about all kinds of life altering factors in my life. I hope you find at least one person who is your person. (Yes, that is a Gray’s anatomy quote).
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite memories in my lifetime so far. I met some wonderful young boys in Lusaka, Zambia last summer. Two of them were holding hands. I asked them, “how come you hold hands?” and they told me it was because they were best friends. They said that they don’t typically hold hands with “just friends” but because they are best friends that’s how they show their deep affection for one another. They were, and I believe to this day that they are still dear, sweet pals. What an exquisite gift that we can give to one another.